Friday, December 18, 2009
Ladies, what's wrong with parsnips?
If ever you needed a clear example of men being from Mars and women from Venus, it would be sex toys. As Carolyn Bennett points out: 38% of women own (and implicitly use) sex toys. 38%!!! Whatever happened to closing your eyes, picturing Fabio and letting your hands "do the talking"? 38%!!!
It does strike me as lunacy that grown women would insert any old industrial product into sensitive parts of their body. My rule of thumb: if it came from an extrusion machine in China, it ain't going into one of my orifices. No matter how tempting. I urge the 38% of Canadian women whose hobbies include these toys to practice the same good sense in search of a good sensation.
Meanwhile, Dr. Bennett's crusade strikes me a little silly. True enough, we have to make sure 38% of women aren't probing themselves with toxic materials. But, "urgent crisis" this is not. The H1N1 pandemic hasn't suddenly stopped. The economy isn't booming. The fate of the planet still looms in Copenhagen. Chalk River isn't up and running. The Taliban are still blowing stuff and people up. Maybe we could close a file or two before opening up this one.
It does strike me as lunacy that grown women would insert any old industrial product into sensitive parts of their body. My rule of thumb: if it came from an extrusion machine in China, it ain't going into one of my orifices. No matter how tempting. I urge the 38% of Canadian women whose hobbies include these toys to practice the same good sense in search of a good sensation.
Meanwhile, Dr. Bennett's crusade strikes me a little silly. True enough, we have to make sure 38% of women aren't probing themselves with toxic materials. But, "urgent crisis" this is not. The H1N1 pandemic hasn't suddenly stopped. The economy isn't booming. The fate of the planet still looms in Copenhagen. Chalk River isn't up and running. The Taliban are still blowing stuff and people up. Maybe we could close a file or two before opening up this one.
Labels: Yeah me Irish Catholic prudery is showing
Thursday, December 17, 2009
10 Most Annoying Politicians in 2010
Inspired by this.
10. Gilles Duceppe
A perennial favorite on the annoying list, Gilles Duceppe does nothing for Quebec or Canada, the only people that really like him are Liberals who think manufacturing a national unity crisis is an easy road to power. This time last year, the Liberals - Iggy included - were set to make him one of the most influential politicians in the potentially short history of Canada. Instead, the Prime Minister won the day on Canada's behalf making Gilles Duceppe mildly annoying but not threatening.
9. Ken Dryden
Ken Dryden is a symptom of Liberal decay. His hockey record is beyond dispute. But his worldview is a crazed cartoon that apparently strikes a chord with Liberals. I suppose it is because he paints these twisted portraits in Liberal colors (which, funnily enough, is one color. At least we see things in black and white, instead of red.)
8. Marlene Jennings
In Bryan Topp's really fun series on the behind the scenes coalition making last year, Ms. Jennings portrays the Liberal id to Dryden's "more groovy" ego: She was first in line for a cabinet position and no grimy socialist was going to claim a ministry rightfully hers. Annoying as she is, she and Dryden undoubtedly put Tory votes into ballot boxes, so let's hope she sticks around.
7. Elizabeth May
Probably no one in Canada has done more damage to the environmental cause than Elizabeth May by turning "green" into "anti-GHGs". When she is climate-nazi hunting, she's personally reading all 3,000 emails from the CRU. On the CBC, she said she read everyone herself and we don't have to worry, there's nothing untoward about climategate. There we go, a lawyer telling me, an engineer, that she's read these emails and I shouldn't worry about the science. A civilization that hates expertise collapses. When we let lawyers do our science for us, we start getting scientific declarations like the sun has no impact on our climate.
6. Kathleen Weill
A Quebec anglo Cabinet Minister. She betrayed the Quebec anglophone community this year when she said having a provincial securities regulator was part of the Quebec identity. This, in the middle of the Earl Jones scandal. When anglophone politicians play Quebec identity politics to push a rotten policy, we have no one to blame for our diminishing number than ourselves. (If french Quebec wants to depopulate itself, why should we pursue demographic anorexia as well?)
5. Al Gore
Eliabeth May X 1000.
4. Danny Williams
I'm not sure why Newfoundland thinks the Williams era will be all that great. Personally, I think you'll end up regretting it Churchill Falls style. The lasting impression he makes on Newfoundland's behalf is that underneath the wink and wit, y'all posess a bitter, aggresive anger somewhat reminiscent of a hungry raccoon.
3. David Miller
Why Toronto indulges in such zeppelinesque politics will leave the rest of Canada confused for generations. Toronto on strike was ugly. And at the end of the strinking, rotten battle, Toronto caved and handed over even more lunatic fringe benefits to its pampered Marie-Antoinette of a union. That's David Miller for you.
2. Michael Ignatieff
I have never met a Michael Ignatieff fan in the real world. I do not believe there is a single person in Canada that can be genuinely called a fan of Michael Ignatieff. The idea of him running the country is, even to a majority of Liberals, quite ludicrous. Like Will Ferrell in Elf, I would start him in the mail room first before I let him anywhere near a budget. The singular most annoying thing Iggy cooked up this year.... well, if you read this blog, you probably know what I think it is:
Making Canada the Bestest Country in the World by 2017.
I cringe that the "government in waiting" has it leaders pushing such adolescent pablum.
1. Barack Obama
Sorry folks. I am not such a loony-tunes that I hate him because a frothing Fox anchor told me to. But, the man has never said a single thing that I found interesting or memorable. And all he does is talk and speech and talk. (I also don't find bowing to the emperor of Japan appropriate or desirable.) A couple of decisions he's had lately are almost laughable:
a. Moving Guantanamo to Illinois. Somehow, by moving enemy combatants from the lovely southern tip of Cuba to nowheresville, cold-as-shit, al-quaeda will lose a recruiting tool. The kicker is Illinois - ain't no votes in Cuba!
b. Accepting the Nobel Peace Prize. I could elaborate but I think my feelings would be so harsh as to make the hopey-changey types who read this blog hate me. So, I'll just repeat: he should not have accepted the Nobel Peace Prize. It will come to define his presidency in history.
10. Gilles Duceppe
A perennial favorite on the annoying list, Gilles Duceppe does nothing for Quebec or Canada, the only people that really like him are Liberals who think manufacturing a national unity crisis is an easy road to power. This time last year, the Liberals - Iggy included - were set to make him one of the most influential politicians in the potentially short history of Canada. Instead, the Prime Minister won the day on Canada's behalf making Gilles Duceppe mildly annoying but not threatening.
9. Ken Dryden
Ken Dryden is a symptom of Liberal decay. His hockey record is beyond dispute. But his worldview is a crazed cartoon that apparently strikes a chord with Liberals. I suppose it is because he paints these twisted portraits in Liberal colors (which, funnily enough, is one color. At least we see things in black and white, instead of red.)
8. Marlene Jennings
In Bryan Topp's really fun series on the behind the scenes coalition making last year, Ms. Jennings portrays the Liberal id to Dryden's "more groovy" ego: She was first in line for a cabinet position and no grimy socialist was going to claim a ministry rightfully hers. Annoying as she is, she and Dryden undoubtedly put Tory votes into ballot boxes, so let's hope she sticks around.
7. Elizabeth May
Probably no one in Canada has done more damage to the environmental cause than Elizabeth May by turning "green" into "anti-GHGs". When she is climate-nazi hunting, she's personally reading all 3,000 emails from the CRU. On the CBC, she said she read everyone herself and we don't have to worry, there's nothing untoward about climategate. There we go, a lawyer telling me, an engineer, that she's read these emails and I shouldn't worry about the science. A civilization that hates expertise collapses. When we let lawyers do our science for us, we start getting scientific declarations like the sun has no impact on our climate.
6. Kathleen Weill
A Quebec anglo Cabinet Minister. She betrayed the Quebec anglophone community this year when she said having a provincial securities regulator was part of the Quebec identity. This, in the middle of the Earl Jones scandal. When anglophone politicians play Quebec identity politics to push a rotten policy, we have no one to blame for our diminishing number than ourselves. (If french Quebec wants to depopulate itself, why should we pursue demographic anorexia as well?)
5. Al Gore
Eliabeth May X 1000.
4. Danny Williams
I'm not sure why Newfoundland thinks the Williams era will be all that great. Personally, I think you'll end up regretting it Churchill Falls style. The lasting impression he makes on Newfoundland's behalf is that underneath the wink and wit, y'all posess a bitter, aggresive anger somewhat reminiscent of a hungry raccoon.
3. David Miller
Why Toronto indulges in such zeppelinesque politics will leave the rest of Canada confused for generations. Toronto on strike was ugly. And at the end of the strinking, rotten battle, Toronto caved and handed over even more lunatic fringe benefits to its pampered Marie-Antoinette of a union. That's David Miller for you.
2. Michael Ignatieff
I have never met a Michael Ignatieff fan in the real world. I do not believe there is a single person in Canada that can be genuinely called a fan of Michael Ignatieff. The idea of him running the country is, even to a majority of Liberals, quite ludicrous. Like Will Ferrell in Elf, I would start him in the mail room first before I let him anywhere near a budget. The singular most annoying thing Iggy cooked up this year.... well, if you read this blog, you probably know what I think it is:
Making Canada the Bestest Country in the World by 2017.
I cringe that the "government in waiting" has it leaders pushing such adolescent pablum.
1. Barack Obama
Sorry folks. I am not such a loony-tunes that I hate him because a frothing Fox anchor told me to. But, the man has never said a single thing that I found interesting or memorable. And all he does is talk and speech and talk. (I also don't find bowing to the emperor of Japan appropriate or desirable.) A couple of decisions he's had lately are almost laughable:
a. Moving Guantanamo to Illinois. Somehow, by moving enemy combatants from the lovely southern tip of Cuba to nowheresville, cold-as-shit, al-quaeda will lose a recruiting tool. The kicker is Illinois - ain't no votes in Cuba!
b. Accepting the Nobel Peace Prize. I could elaborate but I think my feelings would be so harsh as to make the hopey-changey types who read this blog hate me. So, I'll just repeat: he should not have accepted the Nobel Peace Prize. It will come to define his presidency in history.
Labels: Back from the Lone Star State
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Al Gore's Breakthroughs in Science
We credit Al Gore with many things, like the internet or saving us from future climate wars, but that doesn't mean this crusading jet-setter is resting on his laurels. Like other climate scientists, Al Gore is elbow-deep in the science of climate change:
“These figures are fresh. Some of the models suggest to Dr [Wieslav] Maslowski that there is a 75 per cent chance that the entire north polar ice cap, during the summer months, could be completely ice-free within five to seven years.”
Does any data support that statement? Of course not. But data is so 20th century. In this century, all scientific breakthroughs will come through modelling and "value-added" data. What actually happens out there in the world or grams and joules doesn't matter. What matters is how the computer spits out model results.
Myself, I am 100% for computer modelling as the new scientific method. Just this morning, I ran my computer models and the results were that it would be 20 degrees outside. So I went to work in short-sleeves and shirts. People stared at me. Some even laughed. But they were the ones looking silly, all bundled up in winter clothes. Oh sure, the raw data may say its flikkin' cold outside, but my model told me the truth.
Now my model isn't always pretty with its results. Like last night, I ran my model and it had the sun not only setting, but rushing headlong into a distant part of the galaxy. Oopsies. I just pulled a "clever trick" with the programming and voila, the sun was back where it should be. That's all part of the messy business of pushing science forward.
“These figures are fresh. Some of the models suggest to Dr [Wieslav] Maslowski that there is a 75 per cent chance that the entire north polar ice cap, during the summer months, could be completely ice-free within five to seven years.”
Does any data support that statement? Of course not. But data is so 20th century. In this century, all scientific breakthroughs will come through modelling and "value-added" data. What actually happens out there in the world or grams and joules doesn't matter. What matters is how the computer spits out model results.
Myself, I am 100% for computer modelling as the new scientific method. Just this morning, I ran my computer models and the results were that it would be 20 degrees outside. So I went to work in short-sleeves and shirts. People stared at me. Some even laughed. But they were the ones looking silly, all bundled up in winter clothes. Oh sure, the raw data may say its flikkin' cold outside, but my model told me the truth.
Now my model isn't always pretty with its results. Like last night, I ran my model and it had the sun not only setting, but rushing headlong into a distant part of the galaxy. Oopsies. I just pulled a "clever trick" with the programming and voila, the sun was back where it should be. That's all part of the messy business of pushing science forward.
Labels: Iggy and Lizzie should be ready to talk science when pushing their fantasies on us
Michael Ignatieff's Targeted Assasinations
On Michael Ignatieff's Liberal website, they are running a super fun contest to see who can produce the most degrading image of Canada's Prime Minister. Its classy stuff, highlighted here at Dime a Dozen blog.
The worrying image is this one, showing the Prime Minister being assasinated:
Despite Michael Ignatieff's frequent musing on the value of targeted assasination, it is hard to believe that he would actually endorse fantasies of murdering Stephen Harper. Yet there it was - it has since been removed but you can still find images where Stephen Harper's "extinction" is celebrated.
An undercurrent of western politics for the past decade is this rise of violence as a political means among lefties. The assasination of Pym Fortuyn in Netherlands. The film "Death of a President" which fetishized the assasination of George W Bush. The recent assault on Sarah Palin during a book signing. The assault on Italy's Prime Minister. Everywhere, there is a creeping sense that the left, frustrated at the ballot box, is turning to other methods to achieve its ends.
The Copenhagen summit is a good example. Environmentalists are storming and occupying conference areas. They are hacking into government websites and impersonating democratically elected governments.
Even in the depths of political despair at the end of the Chretien regime or in the height of Gomery and the comfy fur of the Liberal party, conservatives never lost sight that:
a) our opponents were human beings.
b) our only road to victory was through democratic action.
Does Iggy feel the same way?
The worrying image is this one, showing the Prime Minister being assasinated:
Despite Michael Ignatieff's frequent musing on the value of targeted assasination, it is hard to believe that he would actually endorse fantasies of murdering Stephen Harper. Yet there it was - it has since been removed but you can still find images where Stephen Harper's "extinction" is celebrated.
An undercurrent of western politics for the past decade is this rise of violence as a political means among lefties. The assasination of Pym Fortuyn in Netherlands. The film "Death of a President" which fetishized the assasination of George W Bush. The recent assault on Sarah Palin during a book signing. The assault on Italy's Prime Minister. Everywhere, there is a creeping sense that the left, frustrated at the ballot box, is turning to other methods to achieve its ends.
The Copenhagen summit is a good example. Environmentalists are storming and occupying conference areas. They are hacking into government websites and impersonating democratically elected governments.
Even in the depths of political despair at the end of the Chretien regime or in the height of Gomery and the comfy fur of the Liberal party, conservatives never lost sight that:
a) our opponents were human beings.
b) our only road to victory was through democratic action.
Does Iggy feel the same way?
Labels: If we can't convince you we crush you
Monday, December 14, 2009
Sleep easy, everyone, the sun is not the problem
I'm glad climate scientists have put this canard to bed. The whole notion that the sun is a factor in our climate is just the silliest thing I have ever heard. Everyone knows that if the sun disappeared tomorrow, we'd keep huffing and chuffing along just fine. Once, a silly science teacher taught us that it was warmer in summer than winter because we were tilted towards the sun during summer and away from the sun during winter. I laughed that day and exclaimed, "silly teacher! The sun doesn't have nothin' to do with the climate! And the whole idea of the planet tilting? If the planet tilted, then why doesn't my broccoli fall off my plate with me pushing it into my dog's mouth?"
Other ridiculous scientists contend that the reason one side of Mercury is burning hot and the other side is deep freeze cold is that one faces the sun and the other doesn't. Poppycock! The most fantastical myth I've ever heard.
Even those scientists who say the sun does have an effect on climate argue that the sun is a unique in the universe in that it has a perfectly constant output. It produces heat and light at the same rate every second of its life until one day it will go poof! The sun never varies and that is a miracle.
Before we dispatch with the sun, let us point out one interesting fact. Climate scientists tore apart research papers into the sun's role in our climate because they had access to them. Next time, skeptics, do what the planet savers do: lose the raw data and have in its place "value added" data.
Other ridiculous scientists contend that the reason one side of Mercury is burning hot and the other side is deep freeze cold is that one faces the sun and the other doesn't. Poppycock! The most fantastical myth I've ever heard.
Even those scientists who say the sun does have an effect on climate argue that the sun is a unique in the universe in that it has a perfectly constant output. It produces heat and light at the same rate every second of its life until one day it will go poof! The sun never varies and that is a miracle.
Before we dispatch with the sun, let us point out one interesting fact. Climate scientists tore apart research papers into the sun's role in our climate because they had access to them. Next time, skeptics, do what the planet savers do: lose the raw data and have in its place "value added" data.
Labels: Next they'll be saying the moon affects tides
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Bring Back Paul Martin - Save the Planet
If Liberals wanted to put the Prime Minister on notice, they would drop Iggy and "acclaim" Paul Martin back to the throne. Here is Paul Martin's way of saving the planet.
The argument makes a lot of sense. The end users who want to exploit this resource, e.g., the United States and China, should bear some responsibility for the oil sands footprint. In a cap and trade market, that'll work out just fine. The oil sands are a world resource whose carbon burden strikes Canada disproportionately. We have to make bigger cuts elsewhere because we carry the oil sands' carbon load. This isn't fair. China and the United States should carry some of the oil sands load by handing over to us carbon credits (in effect, raise our total cap). In turn, we sell them on the market for cash.
In order to save the planet, we need the US and China to fork cash over to us in order for us to continue to exploit oil sands. Stephen Harper may have been the standout world leader on this issue so far, but if a Prime Minister Paul Martin could get us a cash transfer in the order of $2 - $5 billion from each China and the United States in the name of climate change, then roll me in comfy fur and call me a Martin Liberal.
The argument makes a lot of sense. The end users who want to exploit this resource, e.g., the United States and China, should bear some responsibility for the oil sands footprint. In a cap and trade market, that'll work out just fine. The oil sands are a world resource whose carbon burden strikes Canada disproportionately. We have to make bigger cuts elsewhere because we carry the oil sands' carbon load. This isn't fair. China and the United States should carry some of the oil sands load by handing over to us carbon credits (in effect, raise our total cap). In turn, we sell them on the market for cash.
In order to save the planet, we need the US and China to fork cash over to us in order for us to continue to exploit oil sands. Stephen Harper may have been the standout world leader on this issue so far, but if a Prime Minister Paul Martin could get us a cash transfer in the order of $2 - $5 billion from each China and the United States in the name of climate change, then roll me in comfy fur and call me a Martin Liberal.
Labels: I think once Canadians get the chance to know the real Iggy things will be different
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Iggy's Hurricane Katrina
Rocco Rossi, Iggy stalwart, is running away from Team Ignatieff for a chance to lose the mayoralty of Toronto. So continues the slow-motion implosion of the leadership cabal that put Mr. Ignatieff into the captain's chair of the HMS Titanic (aka, Liberal Party).
My favorite Rossi quote from this weekend:
"I've been a Liberal since I was 11"
So it is with Liberals, eh? Political convictions forged in pre-teen years and unchanged by experience or knowledge.
For us Tories, it is perhaps this fact of Liberaldom that is most alien: how can adults have the same political convictions now as they did when they were kids who couldn't use a calculator?
Some things don't change. Me, when I was 11, I wanted everyone to be as happy as they could be. Still do. What's changed is my prescription for how one creates the conditions to maximize the sum total of human happiness. I was a Dipper-minded person (I spent a weekend with the flu watching Dave Barrett lose a BC-NDP leadership race!). Then I matured into a grimy Liberal-minded person. Finally, mastering the calculator and receiving a paycheque, found Toryism.
But no evolution for Rocco Rossi. If his 11 year old self popped up and delivered a political speech today, he'd be the first to endorse the kid for Liberal leadership.
In so many ways, Iggy is very much an 11 year old. He's never made an investment decision - he doesn't know a mutual fund from an income trust fund. He's ignorant of management, operations and the grimy business of being responsible for organizations (oops, he has 1 year experience of running an institution into the ground). He has an 11 year olds ambitions: Make Canada the Bestest Country in the World! (I thought like that too when I was 14 and hoping at least one Canuck won gold in Calgary).
My favorite Rossi quote from this weekend:
"I've been a Liberal since I was 11"
So it is with Liberals, eh? Political convictions forged in pre-teen years and unchanged by experience or knowledge.
For us Tories, it is perhaps this fact of Liberaldom that is most alien: how can adults have the same political convictions now as they did when they were kids who couldn't use a calculator?
Some things don't change. Me, when I was 11, I wanted everyone to be as happy as they could be. Still do. What's changed is my prescription for how one creates the conditions to maximize the sum total of human happiness. I was a Dipper-minded person (I spent a weekend with the flu watching Dave Barrett lose a BC-NDP leadership race!). Then I matured into a grimy Liberal-minded person. Finally, mastering the calculator and receiving a paycheque, found Toryism.
But no evolution for Rocco Rossi. If his 11 year old self popped up and delivered a political speech today, he'd be the first to endorse the kid for Liberal leadership.
In so many ways, Iggy is very much an 11 year old. He's never made an investment decision - he doesn't know a mutual fund from an income trust fund. He's ignorant of management, operations and the grimy business of being responsible for organizations (oops, he has 1 year experience of running an institution into the ground). He has an 11 year olds ambitions: Make Canada the Bestest Country in the World! (I thought like that too when I was 14 and hoping at least one Canuck won gold in Calgary).
Labels: I would bet almost all Liberals were Liberals at age 11
Friday, December 11, 2009
Titilating Fridays
The world's sexiest high school.
Friday with parliament in recess, what's a fella to do but read all the scuzzy gossip available. Sure, I would make jokes about getting my golf balls stuck in sand traps, but that's just too mainstream. (Except I would serious up the Tiger Woods discussion by asking the question: why do people call Tiger Woods black? He is half-black, like the President.)
Instead, like all adults with juvenile minds, I will focus on the ultimate high-school fantasy: walking in on two young, nubile teachers making passionate woman-on-woman love. Why the janitor would rat them out boggles the mind. If it were me, I would have leaned towards the french teacher and said, "I believe its pronounce, menage-a-trois?"
Friday with parliament in recess, what's a fella to do but read all the scuzzy gossip available. Sure, I would make jokes about getting my golf balls stuck in sand traps, but that's just too mainstream. (Except I would serious up the Tiger Woods discussion by asking the question: why do people call Tiger Woods black? He is half-black, like the President.)
Instead, like all adults with juvenile minds, I will focus on the ultimate high-school fantasy: walking in on two young, nubile teachers making passionate woman-on-woman love. Why the janitor would rat them out boggles the mind. If it were me, I would have leaned towards the french teacher and said, "I believe its pronounce, menage-a-trois?"
Labels: You are right I should be focused on Taliban prisoner abuse
