Sunday, May 31, 2009
Layton to the Rescue!
National Newswatch is reporting that Jack Layton has pledged to vote confidence in the government through to the next session in fall.
Apparently, Jack's read of the Liberal party since the Iggy takeover is that it cannot be trusted with power for lack of competence and coherence. Witness the witless demands for the oxymoronic "temporary reforms" to EI in which someone can collect 50 weeks EI after a few short nights working a summer camp.
And, while its an unfortunate situation, the NDP - traditional defender of the working poor - cannot be seen as to cosy with the Liberal party while one of Iggy's power players in caucus is dealing with some very serious allegations over abusive treatment of illegal workers.
To celebrate the political stability delivered by Jack Layton, I am pleased to christen last night's pork tenderloin as "Jack's Loins".
Jack's Loins
1. Make Rub. Salt, pepper, paprika (lots), cumin, thyme, brown sugar.
2. Rub tenderloins and let sit for about an hour.
3. Meanwhile, make glaze: rasberry jam, apple cider vinegar, worcesteshire sauce, little whiskey, smashed garlic, salt, pepper and sesame seeds -- heat and reduce to nice glaze consistency.
4. Fire up grill. Get to 275 - 300 degrees. Quickly sear the tenderloin.
5. Shut one side of the BBQ off and move tenderloin to that side. Close lid and use indirect heat to cook off the tenderloin.
6. Glaze the tenderloin at minute 30, 45 and 60 (where it should be done.)
Serve alongside "Thomas Mulcair cheesy" barley and "Pat Martin sour'n'thin" coleslaw.
Apparently, Jack's read of the Liberal party since the Iggy takeover is that it cannot be trusted with power for lack of competence and coherence. Witness the witless demands for the oxymoronic "temporary reforms" to EI in which someone can collect 50 weeks EI after a few short nights working a summer camp.
And, while its an unfortunate situation, the NDP - traditional defender of the working poor - cannot be seen as to cosy with the Liberal party while one of Iggy's power players in caucus is dealing with some very serious allegations over abusive treatment of illegal workers.
To celebrate the political stability delivered by Jack Layton, I am pleased to christen last night's pork tenderloin as "Jack's Loins".
Jack's Loins
1. Make Rub. Salt, pepper, paprika (lots), cumin, thyme, brown sugar.
2. Rub tenderloins and let sit for about an hour.
3. Meanwhile, make glaze: rasberry jam, apple cider vinegar, worcesteshire sauce, little whiskey, smashed garlic, salt, pepper and sesame seeds -- heat and reduce to nice glaze consistency.
4. Fire up grill. Get to 275 - 300 degrees. Quickly sear the tenderloin.
5. Shut one side of the BBQ off and move tenderloin to that side. Close lid and use indirect heat to cook off the tenderloin.
6. Glaze the tenderloin at minute 30, 45 and 60 (where it should be done.)
Serve alongside "Thomas Mulcair cheesy" barley and "Pat Martin sour'n'thin" coleslaw.
Labels: Everybody is a hero once in their life
Friday, May 29, 2009
Iggy and Warren sitting in a tree, part 2
On one limb.
We have Iggy talking up Jane Taber about investor confidence. He's all excited about using that term, "investor confidence", the way a child shows off her latest trick for you to applaud. He is suddenly deeply interested in investor confidence (not that he's ever experienced it, in Canada or elsewhere).
Well, Iggy, here's a thing about investor confidence:
In December you pledged to the Governor General your commitment to and belief in the coalition. By the end of winter, you were admitting that you thought it was a catastrophic proposition for Canada.
Not exactly the kind of precedent that would instill investor confidence in an Iggy government.
On another limb.
We have Warren speculating meanly about whether a Tory MP is a racist for using the expression "tar baby" in referring to the carbon tax. Note, that Pierre Polievere's use of the term in this context is deftly literate:
"Mr. Speaker, the Liberal leader should give himself more credit. He fathered the carbon tax idea. Then he generously put it up for adoption to his predecessor. And now, of course, he wants a paternity test to prove that this tar baby is not his."
Of course, the question comes easy to Warren Kinsella, since it haunts him for a series of "oopsies" that kind of look like a pattern; whether its women or asian Canadians, Warren has managed to insult large communities of Canadians with patronizing stereotypes.
It may be environmentally sensitive to live in a glass house, Warren, but....
We have Iggy talking up Jane Taber about investor confidence. He's all excited about using that term, "investor confidence", the way a child shows off her latest trick for you to applaud. He is suddenly deeply interested in investor confidence (not that he's ever experienced it, in Canada or elsewhere).
Well, Iggy, here's a thing about investor confidence:
In December you pledged to the Governor General your commitment to and belief in the coalition. By the end of winter, you were admitting that you thought it was a catastrophic proposition for Canada.
Not exactly the kind of precedent that would instill investor confidence in an Iggy government.
On another limb.
We have Warren speculating meanly about whether a Tory MP is a racist for using the expression "tar baby" in referring to the carbon tax. Note, that Pierre Polievere's use of the term in this context is deftly literate:
"Mr. Speaker, the Liberal leader should give himself more credit. He fathered the carbon tax idea. Then he generously put it up for adoption to his predecessor. And now, of course, he wants a paternity test to prove that this tar baby is not his."
Of course, the question comes easy to Warren Kinsella, since it haunts him for a series of "oopsies" that kind of look like a pattern; whether its women or asian Canadians, Warren has managed to insult large communities of Canadians with patronizing stereotypes.
It may be environmentally sensitive to live in a glass house, Warren, but....
Labels: I did a Iggy and Warren sitting in a tree in November 2008
What's the Difference?
What's the difference between a pitbull and a hockey mom?
The hockey mom bribes her daughter to dump the father of her daughter's newborn with the promise of a new car.
What's the difference between a winning Liberal and a losing Liberal?
Common sense.
What's the difference between a fatcat AIG executive and a diligent public servant?
Not a whole lot.
What's the difference between the value of a normal job, like mine, and a GM job?
A whole lot.
And from personal experience....
What's the difference between a 1 year old learning to walk and a brain-eating zombie?
The zombie isn't smiling.
The hockey mom bribes her daughter to dump the father of her daughter's newborn with the promise of a new car.
What's the difference between a winning Liberal and a losing Liberal?
Common sense.
What's the difference between a fatcat AIG executive and a diligent public servant?
Not a whole lot.
What's the difference between the value of a normal job, like mine, and a GM job?
A whole lot.
And from personal experience....
What's the difference between a 1 year old learning to walk and a brain-eating zombie?
The zombie isn't smiling.
Labels: An example of how to write a blog when there isn't anything immediately to write about
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Following up on what Calgary Grit said
Say you have put the government on probation - even if you still have them in a beta-version of probation - then what would you be forced to conclude based on the following quotes:
"This is incompetence on a historic scale"
"Canadians just cannot trust the government with their money"
What option do the Liberals have BUT move non-confidence in the government?
Do you really keep a government in power when it is incompetent on a historic scale? Wouldn't that be irresponsibility on a historic scale? And if we can't trust the government with our money, wouldn't an opposition that does nothing to remove the bumbling bastards be an accessory to the gross negligence?
Get the campaign jets ready, folks; anything less would make a mockery of everything Iggy has said since he wrested control of the Liberal party from Stephane Dion.
"This is incompetence on a historic scale"
"Canadians just cannot trust the government with their money"
What option do the Liberals have BUT move non-confidence in the government?
Do you really keep a government in power when it is incompetent on a historic scale? Wouldn't that be irresponsibility on a historic scale? And if we can't trust the government with our money, wouldn't an opposition that does nothing to remove the bumbling bastards be an accessory to the gross negligence?
Get the campaign jets ready, folks; anything less would make a mockery of everything Iggy has said since he wrested control of the Liberal party from Stephane Dion.
Labels: Once more - they will regret turfing Dion
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Canada's Flag: "a passing imitation of a beer label"
In all the excitement over the Iggy.me ads, one particularly offensive Iggism did not make it to my radar screen until now. In describing the Canadian flag, Michael Ignatieff - True Patriot Lover - said it was a "a passing imitation of a beer label."
My reaction to this? Smarmy asshole. (Yes, he deserves an special entry in Chuckercanuck's Book of Assholes.) In his defense, I suppose you could say that its proof he sees himself as a Canadian because what academic celebrity would be rude enough to insult another country's flag (e.g., Japan's flag looks like Price Chopper just put their country on sale).
Its funny to think that the only Canadian politician in recent times to have been equally insulting about our flag was uber-separatist Bernard Landry. Maybe Iggy was thinking about courting the Bloc vote even in those days. Also funny is to think how Iggy would be received in that other country in which he pretended to be a citizen, the United States, were he to have called the American flag tacky or maybe like that austrian Emperor telling Mozart his art was too busy. I doubt they'd be rushing to put him in the senate.
My reaction to this? Smarmy asshole. (Yes, he deserves an special entry in Chuckercanuck's Book of Assholes.) In his defense, I suppose you could say that its proof he sees himself as a Canadian because what academic celebrity would be rude enough to insult another country's flag (e.g., Japan's flag looks like Price Chopper just put their country on sale).
Its funny to think that the only Canadian politician in recent times to have been equally insulting about our flag was uber-separatist Bernard Landry. Maybe Iggy was thinking about courting the Bloc vote even in those days. Also funny is to think how Iggy would be received in that other country in which he pretended to be a citizen, the United States, were he to have called the American flag tacky or maybe like that austrian Emperor telling Mozart his art was too busy. I doubt they'd be rushing to put him in the senate.
Labels: Do all Liberals think the Canadian flag is a joke
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Alright, let's rumble. You be the Jets, we'll be the Sharks
Signs that Iggy wants to be back at Harvard for the fall semester.
It is an interesting view on to how the coaltion would have been handling things these days: incoherently.
They all agree that EI benefits should be fattened to unsustainable levels but, as usual, the Liberals have their fingers crossed behind their backs. In a nod to Orwellian doublespeak, Liberals want EI reforms to be temporary. Maybe Orwellian is too harsh. Maybe its closer to Ricardo Montoban talking up Chrysler's luxurious Corinthian leather. When would the EI reforms get deformed? Liberals won't say. But without saying, they cannot credibly refute the Tory charge that this will ultimately bring us a massive increase in payroll taxes or structural deficit financing.
Liberals are engineering this defeat of government. Why they would do so is a mystery: there are not enough winnable seats in Quebec to hand them anything more than a strengthened position in opposition. Check Iggy's phone records - I'd bet Harvard got a call.
It is an interesting view on to how the coaltion would have been handling things these days: incoherently.
They all agree that EI benefits should be fattened to unsustainable levels but, as usual, the Liberals have their fingers crossed behind their backs. In a nod to Orwellian doublespeak, Liberals want EI reforms to be temporary. Maybe Orwellian is too harsh. Maybe its closer to Ricardo Montoban talking up Chrysler's luxurious Corinthian leather. When would the EI reforms get deformed? Liberals won't say. But without saying, they cannot credibly refute the Tory charge that this will ultimately bring us a massive increase in payroll taxes or structural deficit financing.
Liberals are engineering this defeat of government. Why they would do so is a mystery: there are not enough winnable seats in Quebec to hand them anything more than a strengthened position in opposition. Check Iggy's phone records - I'd bet Harvard got a call.
Labels: Election speculation is occasionally very fun even if very silly
Monday, May 25, 2009
Hey, Guess What Paul Wells, Canadians Buy the Ads Big Time
Paul Wells Law of Immediate Polling Effects says the Tory Ads are working like a charm. The latest polls show the Tories back up in first and the Liberals sliding from a high-water mark and back into their more typical runner-up status.
With Andrew "Dice" Clay class, pollster Darrell Bricker points out "Ontario goes up and down like a toilet seat". [okay, that has nothing to do with the larger point, but I couldn't help draw your attention to that incredible quote.]
But really, it is the ads. In themselves, they are a homerun. As part of a sequence of events, they are a grand slam. They come on the heels of Iggy's latest book launch and coronation. It was easy to make the case for people thanks to Iggy himself.
Iggy ascends - without vote - to the Liberal throne and concurrently publishes a book about his learned and ancestral passion for Canada. Lots of political wannabes publish books proving up their patriotism when pandering for support, but this was singularly outrageous because it addresses a key vulnerability he has: namely, for all his love of Canada, he spent most of his life outside it; he had often said rather patronizing things about Canada; enjoyed pretending he wasn't Canadian; only returned because a political opportunity came up. "No, no, look at my book," the potion salesman says, "its always been about Canada for me."
The ads simply articulate the narrative Iggy created himself.
Now, please tell me there is a Liberal out there who hasn't toked from the delusion bong abd can see how funny the whole Iggy thing is. Or do you think you'd actually win?
With Andrew "Dice" Clay class, pollster Darrell Bricker points out "Ontario goes up and down like a toilet seat". [okay, that has nothing to do with the larger point, but I couldn't help draw your attention to that incredible quote.]
But really, it is the ads. In themselves, they are a homerun. As part of a sequence of events, they are a grand slam. They come on the heels of Iggy's latest book launch and coronation. It was easy to make the case for people thanks to Iggy himself.
Iggy ascends - without vote - to the Liberal throne and concurrently publishes a book about his learned and ancestral passion for Canada. Lots of political wannabes publish books proving up their patriotism when pandering for support, but this was singularly outrageous because it addresses a key vulnerability he has: namely, for all his love of Canada, he spent most of his life outside it; he had often said rather patronizing things about Canada; enjoyed pretending he wasn't Canadian; only returned because a political opportunity came up. "No, no, look at my book," the potion salesman says, "its always been about Canada for me."
The ads simply articulate the narrative Iggy created himself.
Now, please tell me there is a Liberal out there who hasn't toked from the delusion bong abd can see how funny the whole Iggy thing is. Or do you think you'd actually win?
Labels: I say we fight an election on these ads
Draft Mario
Cher M. Dumont,
You have no choice, with a brood of Dumonts growing faster than crabgrass at the lower south shore ranch, you've got to think about Quebec and its long term future. These are tough slogging days for individual freedom and personal responsibility in Quebec where conservatism is popular only in those places where the Quebec economy is still cooking with gas (i.e., Quebec City and environs).
An accidental election could see the gains of the past three years wiped clear. Iggy would be installed with new national projects that will create new national unions capable of paralyzing our society in the blink of a picket; oh, and taxes will go up. Way, way up - friendly giant style.
Conservatives need you. You are a game changer. And surely you see the writing on the wall: you and your children need the Conservatives. Quebec cannot be forsaken. The human capital of this amazing place cannot be squandered by a system that does not catch falling citizens in a safety net rather it traps them under the confines of that safety net.
Conservatives have been largely loyal to the ADQ. Admitedly, this is motivated by self-interest. In the long haul, Conservatives need a provincial party and provincial ground game. Some folks urge us to move towards the Charest Liberals the way Mulroney danced with the Bourassa Liberals. But we've seen how that ended and Stephen Harper, unlike Mulroney, is concerned with the Conservative Party's life after. That means the long, slow process of building up the CPC-ADQ machine. You should be equally concerned as well.
Your biggest anglo fan,
Chuckercanuck
You have no choice, with a brood of Dumonts growing faster than crabgrass at the lower south shore ranch, you've got to think about Quebec and its long term future. These are tough slogging days for individual freedom and personal responsibility in Quebec where conservatism is popular only in those places where the Quebec economy is still cooking with gas (i.e., Quebec City and environs).
An accidental election could see the gains of the past three years wiped clear. Iggy would be installed with new national projects that will create new national unions capable of paralyzing our society in the blink of a picket; oh, and taxes will go up. Way, way up - friendly giant style.
Conservatives need you. You are a game changer. And surely you see the writing on the wall: you and your children need the Conservatives. Quebec cannot be forsaken. The human capital of this amazing place cannot be squandered by a system that does not catch falling citizens in a safety net rather it traps them under the confines of that safety net.
Conservatives have been largely loyal to the ADQ. Admitedly, this is motivated by self-interest. In the long haul, Conservatives need a provincial party and provincial ground game. Some folks urge us to move towards the Charest Liberals the way Mulroney danced with the Bourassa Liberals. But we've seen how that ended and Stephen Harper, unlike Mulroney, is concerned with the Conservative Party's life after. That means the long, slow process of building up the CPC-ADQ machine. You should be equally concerned as well.
Your biggest anglo fan,
Chuckercanuck
Labels: Draft Mario Draft Mario Draft Mario
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Iggy's Newest Threat
Mess with me and I'll mess with you. So says the waif crumpled on a gold lamay couch fiddling with his bone china tea cup. As our friend Costanza would say, "I'm shaking".
But get this: he isn't personally offended / he is offended on behalf of new Canadians because Tories are saying you are a good or not good Canadian depending on how long you've been in Canada. (Cue vigorous head nodding of J.Traverse, D. Martin, C. Hebert and L. Ian MacDonald).
Yet he should be personally offended. The ads - quite clearly - are personal. They are about Michael Ignatieff and why he has returned to Canada. They don't question the legitimacy of returning to Canada. They don't tar him with some anti-immigrant, xenophobian brush. They are pin-point specific: Micheal Ignetieff would not return to Canada unless backroom organizers of the Liberal party had promised him the Prime Ministership. Michael Ignatieff could not give a rat's ass about Canada except insofar as it serves his personal ambition.
That's a very personal charge and he should be offended by it. Unless of course.... he knows it to be 100% true (patriot love).
But get this: he isn't personally offended / he is offended on behalf of new Canadians because Tories are saying you are a good or not good Canadian depending on how long you've been in Canada. (Cue vigorous head nodding of J.Traverse, D. Martin, C. Hebert and L. Ian MacDonald).
Yet he should be personally offended. The ads - quite clearly - are personal. They are about Michael Ignatieff and why he has returned to Canada. They don't question the legitimacy of returning to Canada. They don't tar him with some anti-immigrant, xenophobian brush. They are pin-point specific: Micheal Ignetieff would not return to Canada unless backroom organizers of the Liberal party had promised him the Prime Ministership. Michael Ignatieff could not give a rat's ass about Canada except insofar as it serves his personal ambition.
That's a very personal charge and he should be offended by it. Unless of course.... he knows it to be 100% true (patriot love).
Labels: Like Iggy I could talk about the anti-Iggy ads for the next 3 years
Saturday, May 23, 2009
More Scary Iggisms
Thanks, National Post, for publishing this dreck. Now, I know I'm not supposed to quote Michael Ignatieff because his fanatics will cry bloody murder with the "out-of-contextualisms" but anyway:
"We're in a recession that is rewriting the rules of our economy."
Okay, you scary freak. What rules of the economy do you plan to re-write? This is not a time to be hinting that you plan massive economic re-engineering under the cover of a recession. Before you came along, most thinking people understood that the rules of our economy governed booms and busts; i.e., the entire economic cycle.
What are you telling investors with that pithy line? That Canada is a country whose rules shift with the wind. Thanks, buddy, that will draw capital like citronella draws mosquitoes.
"Our Employment Insurance system just wasn't built for a national crisis of this scope."
Actually, buddy, while you were gone those 34 years, our unemployment levels were actually higher than today's. That's not to dispute the suffering that has occurred thus far but it is to suggest that you put some - oh look at that - context to your comments. I suggest you bone up with a brief review of the Canadian economy over the last 30 years.
"We're facing a single, national crisis. But EI maintains 58 different regional standards of eligibility. That doesn't make sense."
Not true, exactly. Is Sir Iggy saying that Montreal has been hit as badly by the recession as Toronto? Bullshit! Is Sir Iggy saying that Winnipeg's GDP is shrinking? Bullshit! Is every province in deficit? Not Saskatchewan. If oil hits $100 a barrel, will Ontario's economy zoom forward? No? How about Alberta's? Maybe 58 regional standards are excessive. But certainly, calling this a SINGLE NATIONAL CRISIS is an oversimplification that only an apprentice would declare.
"Red tape has paralyzed federal infrastructure spending"
Well, yes. And we know what Liberals do when the red tape disappears!
"The Liberal party has proposed a national, 360-hour standard of EI eligibility, for as long as this crisis lasts"
Don't just say that, putz, prove it. What criteria will be used to determine when "this crisis" is over? Cement the promise with some quantifiable guarantee that your EI reform will end once, for example, unemployment falls below 9%. Otherwise, its just the usual pie-in-the-sky gimmick.
Actually, either way, its a putrid gimmick; afterall, what kind of reform, on EI or anything else, is temporary? Reforms are generally, well, you know, permanent. Besides, if the 58 national standards are so stupid, why make the changes temporary?
"We're in a recession that is rewriting the rules of our economy."
Okay, you scary freak. What rules of the economy do you plan to re-write? This is not a time to be hinting that you plan massive economic re-engineering under the cover of a recession. Before you came along, most thinking people understood that the rules of our economy governed booms and busts; i.e., the entire economic cycle.
What are you telling investors with that pithy line? That Canada is a country whose rules shift with the wind. Thanks, buddy, that will draw capital like citronella draws mosquitoes.
"Our Employment Insurance system just wasn't built for a national crisis of this scope."
Actually, buddy, while you were gone those 34 years, our unemployment levels were actually higher than today's. That's not to dispute the suffering that has occurred thus far but it is to suggest that you put some - oh look at that - context to your comments. I suggest you bone up with a brief review of the Canadian economy over the last 30 years.
"We're facing a single, national crisis. But EI maintains 58 different regional standards of eligibility. That doesn't make sense."
Not true, exactly. Is Sir Iggy saying that Montreal has been hit as badly by the recession as Toronto? Bullshit! Is Sir Iggy saying that Winnipeg's GDP is shrinking? Bullshit! Is every province in deficit? Not Saskatchewan. If oil hits $100 a barrel, will Ontario's economy zoom forward? No? How about Alberta's? Maybe 58 regional standards are excessive. But certainly, calling this a SINGLE NATIONAL CRISIS is an oversimplification that only an apprentice would declare.
"Red tape has paralyzed federal infrastructure spending"
Well, yes. And we know what Liberals do when the red tape disappears!
"The Liberal party has proposed a national, 360-hour standard of EI eligibility, for as long as this crisis lasts"
Don't just say that, putz, prove it. What criteria will be used to determine when "this crisis" is over? Cement the promise with some quantifiable guarantee that your EI reform will end once, for example, unemployment falls below 9%. Otherwise, its just the usual pie-in-the-sky gimmick.
Actually, either way, its a putrid gimmick; afterall, what kind of reform, on EI or anything else, is temporary? Reforms are generally, well, you know, permanent. Besides, if the 58 national standards are so stupid, why make the changes temporary?
Labels: Only artsy-farsty fat cats like Michael Ignatieff
Friday, May 22, 2009
Beer and Popcorn, the College Edition
Dear Kids,
I hope you landed a summer job before heading off to college, because we have an incredible backhanded student grant to offer: EI. That's right, we are going to fix the laws so that you can collect EI by the time your first class starts in September. In another lifetime, we might have worried about what you students would do with the extra cash - maybe spend it on beer and popcorn - but we know you students aren't half the parents in Canada. Students never disappoint us in the Liberal party, especially the boys in Sigma Chi at McGill: they would never spend this windfall on frivolous things.
Some of you may ask, "hey, if you want to help students, don't rig the system to hand me a loophole, do something explicit." But most of you find that a boring question to ask, so why bother responding? Others may press further, "can we in a time of extraordinary spending as it is, spend even more money by expanding EI to include people like me?" But instead of answering that question now, let's just wait until that first payment arrives and see if you really care to ask that question still.
Remember, evil Reformer, Stephen Harper is against this scheme. Got that? Liberals equal handing you cash. Conservatives equal not handing you cash.
Your friends,
The Liberal Party
ps. Yes, we acknowledge the flood of tweets regarding Steve MacKinnon's "bangs" on Power Play today. We recognize that concealment is the likely the most difficult strategy to counteract baldness.
I hope you landed a summer job before heading off to college, because we have an incredible backhanded student grant to offer: EI. That's right, we are going to fix the laws so that you can collect EI by the time your first class starts in September. In another lifetime, we might have worried about what you students would do with the extra cash - maybe spend it on beer and popcorn - but we know you students aren't half the parents in Canada. Students never disappoint us in the Liberal party, especially the boys in Sigma Chi at McGill: they would never spend this windfall on frivolous things.
Some of you may ask, "hey, if you want to help students, don't rig the system to hand me a loophole, do something explicit." But most of you find that a boring question to ask, so why bother responding? Others may press further, "can we in a time of extraordinary spending as it is, spend even more money by expanding EI to include people like me?" But instead of answering that question now, let's just wait until that first payment arrives and see if you really care to ask that question still.
Remember, evil Reformer, Stephen Harper is against this scheme. Got that? Liberals equal handing you cash. Conservatives equal not handing you cash.
Your friends,
The Liberal Party
ps. Yes, we acknowledge the flood of tweets regarding Steve MacKinnon's "bangs" on Power Play today. We recognize that concealment is the likely the most difficult strategy to counteract baldness.
Labels: Remind me about how to make a perfect burger with pimento cheese on top
Thursday, May 21, 2009
That speech in Montreal and a last word about the ads
I was not in Montreal this week so I missed this event.
Here's the challenge for Michael Ignatieff. A resurgent Liberal party should cobble together - given the home town turf advantage - double the amount of $150 attendees that PM Harper got. Anything less than 4,000 next month when Iggy comes to speak should be scored for Harper.
Meanwhile, Iggy's book & leadership launch have become engulfed in a discussion of Conservative attack ads.
Journalists are screaming that the ads are terrible especially "when there are so many important issues to be talking about". Well, the big issue right now, journalists, is the recession. And, one industry especially slammed hard by the recession is media (i.e., you guys). So here come the Conservatives. With Ads. And you want to shit on those ads and their revenues? I'm not making this up. If anything, you should be braying that the snivelly Grit Girl ads were broadcast free and Liberals should be using their newly refreshed coffers to stimulate the media industry as much as Conservatives do.
Do the ads work? Well, I can name one book that ain't going to be in the beach bags of Canadians this summer: True Patriot Whatever. Why? Because the ads take advantage of that book's weakness. Which is: the only reason he wrote the book was for political gain.
Here's the challenge for Michael Ignatieff. A resurgent Liberal party should cobble together - given the home town turf advantage - double the amount of $150 attendees that PM Harper got. Anything less than 4,000 next month when Iggy comes to speak should be scored for Harper.
Meanwhile, Iggy's book & leadership launch have become engulfed in a discussion of Conservative attack ads.
Journalists are screaming that the ads are terrible especially "when there are so many important issues to be talking about". Well, the big issue right now, journalists, is the recession. And, one industry especially slammed hard by the recession is media (i.e., you guys). So here come the Conservatives. With Ads. And you want to shit on those ads and their revenues? I'm not making this up. If anything, you should be braying that the snivelly Grit Girl ads were broadcast free and Liberals should be using their newly refreshed coffers to stimulate the media industry as much as Conservatives do.
Do the ads work? Well, I can name one book that ain't going to be in the beach bags of Canadians this summer: True Patriot Whatever. Why? Because the ads take advantage of that book's weakness. Which is: the only reason he wrote the book was for political gain.
Labels: 4000 people better show up for Iggy next month
Iggy's Laughable Response
Really, Stephen Harper, are you saying immigrants are less Canadian than other Canadians because they haven't always lived in Canada? Shame on you, heartless xenophobe! Pitter of one canadian against another! I suppose you would even go so far as to say our soldiers, serving in Afghanistan, are less Canadian because they too will have spent less time in Canada than Canadians who never bothered getting up from the couch!
My blood boils when I think of how you have, in attacking me, really attacked immigrants and Canadian soldiers and Celine Dion. Wait until Quebec finds out that an attack on me is an attack on Celine Dion. They'll make Lac St-Jean tortiere out of you (the kind I would make in my Chelsea days).
Not that I must mention it, but: for all those 30 years I spent outside Canada, all I could think about was Canada. I longed for her like Abelard longed for Eloise. Proof positive of my love for Canada comes in the culmination of my writing career: True Patriot Love. A book that prooves my devotion the way a certain mogul king built the Taj Mahal. Have you ever written a book about your deep love of Canada? Hm. Interesting.
No, let's get back to the issues, shall we. I have a crack team assembled to help explain to me the Canadian economy. For all my writing, I have never really tackled the subject. Money is soooo dirty. Anyway, my new economic advisor is a real gem. He's the guy who invented the NEP (he's explained that one to me, I wasn't around at the time!). Wait til you see what he's cooked up for Canada now.
My blood boils when I think of how you have, in attacking me, really attacked immigrants and Canadian soldiers and Celine Dion. Wait until Quebec finds out that an attack on me is an attack on Celine Dion. They'll make Lac St-Jean tortiere out of you (the kind I would make in my Chelsea days).
Not that I must mention it, but: for all those 30 years I spent outside Canada, all I could think about was Canada. I longed for her like Abelard longed for Eloise. Proof positive of my love for Canada comes in the culmination of my writing career: True Patriot Love. A book that prooves my devotion the way a certain mogul king built the Taj Mahal. Have you ever written a book about your deep love of Canada? Hm. Interesting.
No, let's get back to the issues, shall we. I have a crack team assembled to help explain to me the Canadian economy. For all my writing, I have never really tackled the subject. Money is soooo dirty. Anyway, my new economic advisor is a real gem. He's the guy who invented the NEP (he's explained that one to me, I wasn't around at the time!). Wait til you see what he's cooked up for Canada now.
Labels: The attack ads work very well because Iggy plays into them perfectly
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
The Road to Social Networking Shame is Paved in Good Intentions
So, you like a good cause, right? Kids are the best cause ever, right? "Damn straight there should be a mandatory pedophile registry in Canada," you say as you skim the request to join the fight and sign up in support of a pedophile registry.
And henceforth, it never occured to you that the crusade can look quite off-putting to the social browser who's just curious...
And henceforth, it never occured to you that the crusade can look quite off-putting to the social browser who's just curious...
Labels: Big day in politics
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Help Wanted - Ruby is Rubber and You Are Glue
Weak-stomach warning: I am linking you over to Warren Kinsella's website. Its an ugly but necessary part of the propagandist trade that we look over into enemy camp's to see what's cooking. A whole mess of beans, it turns out.
Warren Kinsella and a journalist are working on a project. (what? The Liberal War Room colluding with the press? Unthinkable! Outrageous!) The project is to ferret out any and all sordid gossip one can find about how Tory MPs treat their nannies.
To my mind, once you have decided your best strategy is to try and find an equivalence for your crime on the part of the enemy, you have basically admitted guilt. Team Ignatieff is not scrambling to defend Ruby's honor, they are scrambling to show that her honor is no more fallen than anyone else's. With friends like that....
If I can add a blue collar touch to this: nannies are gross. Who the hell wants a stranger in their house? Just mop your own scruffy floor.
Warren Kinsella and a journalist are working on a project. (what? The Liberal War Room colluding with the press? Unthinkable! Outrageous!) The project is to ferret out any and all sordid gossip one can find about how Tory MPs treat their nannies.
To my mind, once you have decided your best strategy is to try and find an equivalence for your crime on the part of the enemy, you have basically admitted guilt. Team Ignatieff is not scrambling to defend Ruby's honor, they are scrambling to show that her honor is no more fallen than anyone else's. With friends like that....
If I can add a blue collar touch to this: nannies are gross. Who the hell wants a stranger in their house? Just mop your own scruffy floor.
Labels: Ruby Tuesday
Friday, May 15, 2009
Happy Victoria Day, Separatists!
The sun shines and foliage is vibrant. The pleasures of being a boss is that I get to say, "flick it, I'm going home to drink whiskey and plant tomatoes."
Before I do, however, I'd like to rant a little about the name Victoria Day. See, in Quebec, we've handed the entire language over to the separatists. They go around renaming everything to fit their ideological ambitions. So, its not Victoria Day in Quebec because that would offend Quebeckers by reminding them of the oppressive Queen Victoria who caused outrage and carnage across the province.
Oops, its not a province. At least not when you drive into Quebec City and they welcome you to the "Capital Nationale". Or, when you go to a provincial park which they call a "parc national". (The Gazette did an article about our provincial parks where one Quebec tourism official wondered why Quebec anglos don't visit the parks... perhaps its because we feel totally unwelcome in a provincial park that pretends not to be a provincial park.)
Everything gets a new name. St-Jean-de-Baptiste is our Fete Nationale. Labor day is Union Solidarity Day. Hollowe'en is Dress Up like a Scary Englishmen Day. Christmas Day is Day We Are Ashamed Because We Technically Are Christian. Easter is Day 2 We Are Ashamed Because We Technically Are Chistian. New Years Day is Maybe This Will be Our Year Day. Canada hasn't been renamed. It just doesn't exist.
Before I do, however, I'd like to rant a little about the name Victoria Day. See, in Quebec, we've handed the entire language over to the separatists. They go around renaming everything to fit their ideological ambitions. So, its not Victoria Day in Quebec because that would offend Quebeckers by reminding them of the oppressive Queen Victoria who caused outrage and carnage across the province.
Oops, its not a province. At least not when you drive into Quebec City and they welcome you to the "Capital Nationale". Or, when you go to a provincial park which they call a "parc national". (The Gazette did an article about our provincial parks where one Quebec tourism official wondered why Quebec anglos don't visit the parks... perhaps its because we feel totally unwelcome in a provincial park that pretends not to be a provincial park.)
Everything gets a new name. St-Jean-de-Baptiste is our Fete Nationale. Labor day is Union Solidarity Day. Hollowe'en is Dress Up like a Scary Englishmen Day. Christmas Day is Day We Are Ashamed Because We Technically Are Christian. Easter is Day 2 We Are Ashamed Because We Technically Are Chistian. New Years Day is Maybe This Will be Our Year Day. Canada hasn't been renamed. It just doesn't exist.
Labels: Beefsteak tomatoes and Montreal melon are my priority
Thursday, May 14, 2009
The Dhalla Conspiracy Conspiracy
Now I get it. This is a conspiracy to create a conspiracy about a rising Liberal star in order to frame Jason Kenney for the crime of creating a conspiracy about a rising Liberal star. Diabolical!
Meanwhile, another asshole logged. This time its Mr. Carry-on asshole.
Meanwhile, another asshole logged. This time its Mr. Carry-on asshole.
Labels: Mostly a cheap excuse to link to a new asshole
The Liberals Back Door Tax Grab
Thank you, Stephen Harper.
I can always count on you to defend the interests of my family (and my small business) when liberal apetites for tax dollars crescendos.
Liberals are proposing a preposterous re-engineering of the EI program that would force the government to raise premiums on working people in order to make it easier for folks to collect benefits for something like a summer job's worth of work.
The Liberal strategy would make Kim Jong-Il proud: crush the strong, cripple the productive, grow the citizenry's dependency on the state. Only, where Liberals and Kim Jong-Il might part policy company is that Liberal history with EI is telling - they will dip into EI for general revenue when it is convenient for them to do so.
Bottom line: a tax is a tax is a premium hike is a user fee hike is a tax. It is reducing the disposable income of Canadians in order to increase the disposable income of the federal government. And its nice to know that our Prime Minister would sooner see his government fall and an election campaign than cave-in to Liberal demands to create a fantasy-land country of whiskey rivers and cigarette trees.
I can always count on you to defend the interests of my family (and my small business) when liberal apetites for tax dollars crescendos.
Liberals are proposing a preposterous re-engineering of the EI program that would force the government to raise premiums on working people in order to make it easier for folks to collect benefits for something like a summer job's worth of work.
The Liberal strategy would make Kim Jong-Il proud: crush the strong, cripple the productive, grow the citizenry's dependency on the state. Only, where Liberals and Kim Jong-Il might part policy company is that Liberal history with EI is telling - they will dip into EI for general revenue when it is convenient for them to do so.
Bottom line: a tax is a tax is a premium hike is a user fee hike is a tax. It is reducing the disposable income of Canadians in order to increase the disposable income of the federal government. And its nice to know that our Prime Minister would sooner see his government fall and an election campaign than cave-in to Liberal demands to create a fantasy-land country of whiskey rivers and cigarette trees.
Labels: And yes - Harper would win that election
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
.me ? .brilliant
www.ignatieff.me
If that captures the gist of the Tory ad campaign on Michael Ignatieff, then they will be brilliant and effective.
Michael Ignatieff will only have so long to pretend he doesn't have to respond. Or else, his image as an arrogant and vain narcissist will be cemented in our minds. Don't get me wrong, I am perfectly happy to see Liberals talk themselves to death about the production qualities or whatever; as long as their staring at a belly button, it doesn't matter that it isn't their belly button.
To be fair, the arrogant peacock meme works because the evidence basically confirms it, so there isn't much the Liberals can do to counter the impression. And that might explain why they will likely try to ignore the campaign entirely.
If that captures the gist of the Tory ad campaign on Michael Ignatieff, then they will be brilliant and effective.
Michael Ignatieff will only have so long to pretend he doesn't have to respond. Or else, his image as an arrogant and vain narcissist will be cemented in our minds. Don't get me wrong, I am perfectly happy to see Liberals talk themselves to death about the production qualities or whatever; as long as their staring at a belly button, it doesn't matter that it isn't their belly button.
To be fair, the arrogant peacock meme works because the evidence basically confirms it, so there isn't much the Liberals can do to counter the impression. And that might explain why they will likely try to ignore the campaign entirely.
Labels: Motive is fair game in politics
Shameless Self-Promotion, the Mark Steyn Edition
I thought it was fun when Yanni's marketing team sent me a DVD of Yanni Live in Concert if I promise to review it. (As a little soduko, try it yourself and see.)
But scoring a Mark Steyn staffer's attention to fill up some real estate on his blog is way funner. My working life has always included the National Post, and so, Mark Steyn. He is an inspiration to probably all creative conservatives of my age group or younger.
Just as Liz Lemmon was willing to pretend to give birth to a plastic chicken last week on 30 Rock, I am willing to be ridiculed as a "Colin Powell softy" by an army of Steyn-o-mites if it gets the big guy's attention.
Labels: Hack hack hack I am
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Shameless Self-Promotion, Volume 1
Howdy. I have started a new blog project that I will now proceed to advertise here.
Its called: Chuckercanuck's Book of Assholes.
My attempt is to do for assholes what zoology did for animals. That is, to create a compendium of assholes that will serve as the definitive reference in asshole reasearch.
As I encounter assholes through the course of my life, I will log the observations on that blog and remind you all periodically to visit, learn and contribute to this study.
The first entry is Asshole in the Grey Honday Accord.
Its called: Chuckercanuck's Book of Assholes.
My attempt is to do for assholes what zoology did for animals. That is, to create a compendium of assholes that will serve as the definitive reference in asshole reasearch.
As I encounter assholes through the course of my life, I will log the observations on that blog and remind you all periodically to visit, learn and contribute to this study.
The first entry is Asshole in the Grey Honday Accord.
Labels: The Book of Assholes
How Mustard Killed Republicanism in the United States
If any part of the International Coalition for Secret Global Conspiracies is letting the rest of us down, its the Yankee part. Remember that scene in Miller's Crossing where John Torturo is on his knees, begging for his life? That's how the Repbulicans sound these days.
The latest controversy is about President Obama asking for Dijon mustord to put on a cheeseburger. Here's a quote from Mark Steyn who filled in from Rush Limbaugh:
"John Kerry couldn't get away with that stuff but he makes it seem like just like a regular thing to do"
Normally, I love Mark Steyn - he's funny, caustic and a weapon of mass irritation against nihilistic lefties. But to hear him "la-de-da" over the President's choice in condiments makes me cringe where I am not curdling. Is Mark Steyn suggesting that he doesn't have a big ol' jug of Dijon in his fridge himself? Does Mark Steyn only eat himself 'merican condiments? The jet setter who carries a squeeze bottle of French's with him wherever he goes?
Tzaziki. Hummus. Hoisin. Korma. Are these the four horseman of the American Apocolypse? Will they race across the heartland spreading the disease of liberalism and addict us bumpkins to big government? Should we cower at the sight of gorgonzola like its a marker of tax increases surely to come?
Or, is the reason that Republicans have fallen apart is that its thought-leaders have such a poor and perverted view of everyday conservatives that they can only connect to a baffoonish stereotype of those everyday conservatives?
I don't know. But all these questions are making me hungry. I think I'll walk over to the Main for a sausage sandwhich with sauerkraut and bavarian mustard. Oh, how fucking fancy pants of me.
The latest controversy is about President Obama asking for Dijon mustord to put on a cheeseburger. Here's a quote from Mark Steyn who filled in from Rush Limbaugh:
"John Kerry couldn't get away with that stuff but he makes it seem like just like a regular thing to do"
Normally, I love Mark Steyn - he's funny, caustic and a weapon of mass irritation against nihilistic lefties. But to hear him "la-de-da" over the President's choice in condiments makes me cringe where I am not curdling. Is Mark Steyn suggesting that he doesn't have a big ol' jug of Dijon in his fridge himself? Does Mark Steyn only eat himself 'merican condiments? The jet setter who carries a squeeze bottle of French's with him wherever he goes?
Tzaziki. Hummus. Hoisin. Korma. Are these the four horseman of the American Apocolypse? Will they race across the heartland spreading the disease of liberalism and addict us bumpkins to big government? Should we cower at the sight of gorgonzola like its a marker of tax increases surely to come?
Or, is the reason that Republicans have fallen apart is that its thought-leaders have such a poor and perverted view of everyday conservatives that they can only connect to a baffoonish stereotype of those everyday conservatives?
I don't know. But all these questions are making me hungry. I think I'll walk over to the Main for a sausage sandwhich with sauerkraut and bavarian mustard. Oh, how fucking fancy pants of me.
Labels: Mark Steyn you are now part of the problem causing elites
Monday, May 11, 2009
Kids vs. Pleather - which is more fun?
This little piece reminded me of an event last week. My college buddy called and wanted to go for beers after work because we haven't seen each other in weeks. I accepted because the poor chap sounded like a dog caught in a bear trap. But as I raced to the pub across town, darting through congestion points and construction traps, I kept thinking, "get a life, buddy! Why the hell do I need to babysit you?"
What those hip childless adults consider "a life": endless happy hours with similarly un-anchored co-workers; hot dates with other people who've been unable to sustain a relationship past 6 weeks; lining up to see Bruce Springsteen for the 3rd time in 12 months - all of this seems extremely un-life like to me. I feel pity, not envy, for their purposelessness.
So, I had my beer and we talked, ate some chicken wings, laughed at the wealth-destruction of mergers in the mining industry. Paid $7 for that stupid beer. Another $7 for the chicken wings.
At home, the price is much more reasonable and the chairs way more comfy. I don't have to listen to Beonce and a soccer game beamed from Argentina isn't distracting us. No wrinkles in a push-up bra are leering at us, hoping we'll get blurred drunk and stupid.
At home, there are children. My children. They beg me to put Jesus Christ Superstar on YouTube and tell them which spiders are the most poisonous in the world. They do corny things and pretend they are princesses fighting Darth Vader. They want to go to water parks and play mini golf. The world is still kick ass fun for them and therefore, the world becomes kick ass fun for me all over again.
So: you don't want kids because you enjoy lingering at a romantic restaurant? Grow up! You sound like my kids on the swing set, unwilling to accept that all things come to an end. Besides, I'm not much of a futurists, but I predict restaurants will still be around when you re-gain your freedom.
One more thing: when you turn 70, don't start whining that the state should be supporting your every need because nobody cares about you. If you want people to care about you in your infirmaty - go make them!
What those hip childless adults consider "a life": endless happy hours with similarly un-anchored co-workers; hot dates with other people who've been unable to sustain a relationship past 6 weeks; lining up to see Bruce Springsteen for the 3rd time in 12 months - all of this seems extremely un-life like to me. I feel pity, not envy, for their purposelessness.
So, I had my beer and we talked, ate some chicken wings, laughed at the wealth-destruction of mergers in the mining industry. Paid $7 for that stupid beer. Another $7 for the chicken wings.
At home, the price is much more reasonable and the chairs way more comfy. I don't have to listen to Beonce and a soccer game beamed from Argentina isn't distracting us. No wrinkles in a push-up bra are leering at us, hoping we'll get blurred drunk and stupid.
At home, there are children. My children. They beg me to put Jesus Christ Superstar on YouTube and tell them which spiders are the most poisonous in the world. They do corny things and pretend they are princesses fighting Darth Vader. They want to go to water parks and play mini golf. The world is still kick ass fun for them and therefore, the world becomes kick ass fun for me all over again.
So: you don't want kids because you enjoy lingering at a romantic restaurant? Grow up! You sound like my kids on the swing set, unwilling to accept that all things come to an end. Besides, I'm not much of a futurists, but I predict restaurants will still be around when you re-gain your freedom.
One more thing: when you turn 70, don't start whining that the state should be supporting your every need because nobody cares about you. If you want people to care about you in your infirmaty - go make them!
Labels: Hat tip to Eric the Separatist for calling attention to this article
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Flirting with a Coup
From the donkey's mouth:
"I couldn't guarantee the long-term stability of the coalition under the circumstances.”
“There was also a question concerning the legitimacy of the coalition that troubled me.”
However, tt didn't trouble me enough declare against it. And I while I couldn't guarantee the long-term stability of the coalition, I did publicly offer that guarantee to the governor general in a bid for government.
Afterall, the whole usurption thing has always been attractive - its juuuuussssstt my cup of teaaaaa. So, you have to bend the truth a bit but only to get it around some monster of a pickle. I signed that coalition document last, remember. That's a pretty clear symbol of my reluctance. She pretty much figured out I was bullshitting anyway. No harm done, really.
"I couldn't guarantee the long-term stability of the coalition under the circumstances.”
“There was also a question concerning the legitimacy of the coalition that troubled me.”
However, tt didn't trouble me enough declare against it. And I while I couldn't guarantee the long-term stability of the coalition, I did publicly offer that guarantee to the governor general in a bid for government.
Afterall, the whole usurption thing has always been attractive - its juuuuussssstt my cup of teaaaaa. So, you have to bend the truth a bit but only to get it around some monster of a pickle. I signed that coalition document last, remember. That's a pretty clear symbol of my reluctance. She pretty much figured out I was bullshitting anyway. No harm done, really.
Labels: So why sign the document
The Secret Life of Chuckercanuck
Unlike every lucky person on the planet, I have not seen and reviewed Star Trek 11. Three little girls will do that to you. Especially when the two older ones have become Star Trek fans and would consider it a betrayal of the highest order if I snuck out to see the film without them.
So, we spent last night as we mostly do: at friends, eating and drinking while the broods in the basement fight, play, laugh, fight, cry, play, cry, fight, complain when its time to go. Upstairs, we play a game as well. I call it, "let's pretend our wives are pregnant." Its an easy game. Basically, you hand your keys to your wife and then drink without regard for the consequences. Whiskey, wine, whiskey; unless you are lucky to sneak in a little calvados (Quebec makes an equally fine apple brandy).
But just because you drink without regard to the consequences doesn't mean there are no consequences. Last night, forced to listen to the Wings Greatest Hits (yes, there are more than 3) while dreaming of sealskin comforter covers, I ended up asking my buddy to borrow the CD.
He called this morning. He had to get something from his car and found, lying in a pool of rain on his driveway, the Wings CD. I had placed it atop the car while loading children in and when we drove away, the CD flew off the roof and onto the wet pavement. So he and his wife - and my wife - laughed at me for a good twenty minutes.
Worse, they were laughing because this isn't the first time I have placed something temporarily on the roof of my car while loading kids from a night at their house. The last time I did this, we drove off, leaving a half-eaten cheesecake to fly into the night air and crash down on the asphalt. Cheesecake, even the grocery-store kind, does not stand up well to impacts.
So, we spent last night as we mostly do: at friends, eating and drinking while the broods in the basement fight, play, laugh, fight, cry, play, cry, fight, complain when its time to go. Upstairs, we play a game as well. I call it, "let's pretend our wives are pregnant." Its an easy game. Basically, you hand your keys to your wife and then drink without regard for the consequences. Whiskey, wine, whiskey; unless you are lucky to sneak in a little calvados (Quebec makes an equally fine apple brandy).
But just because you drink without regard to the consequences doesn't mean there are no consequences. Last night, forced to listen to the Wings Greatest Hits (yes, there are more than 3) while dreaming of sealskin comforter covers, I ended up asking my buddy to borrow the CD.
He called this morning. He had to get something from his car and found, lying in a pool of rain on his driveway, the Wings CD. I had placed it atop the car while loading children in and when we drove away, the CD flew off the roof and onto the wet pavement. So he and his wife - and my wife - laughed at me for a good twenty minutes.
Worse, they were laughing because this isn't the first time I have placed something temporarily on the roof of my car while loading kids from a night at their house. The last time I did this, we drove off, leaving a half-eaten cheesecake to fly into the night air and crash down on the asphalt. Cheesecake, even the grocery-store kind, does not stand up well to impacts.
Labels: Kids - don't borrow things when you are drunk
Saturday, May 09, 2009
Maybe not snobbish, but certainly vain and preening
Thanks Jane Taber for offering us another revolting glimpse at the True Patriot, Michael Ignatieff. (He is a true patriot because unlike us, he can only "imagine" Canada. To him, there is no real Canada.)
So, it appears hip, feet-on-the-ground Iggy likes to spend his time reading celebrity gossip and home remedies for cellulite.
I think that's just terrific. What this country needs is a leader who can mediate between Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston or who knows what Kate Moss looks like topless on a beach in Turkey. And it must be great to be Zuhzzhanna Ignatieff with that endless stream of tips to get rid of the ulgy jelly collecting on her legs.
But here's the thing. Wouldn't it be even more terrific if we were told that in his spare time Michael Ignatieff is reading the Wall Street Journal and taking a seminar on investing. This is not to knock his command of Hollywood happenings but a man as woefully ignorant of money should not be allowed to command the nation's largest purse... no? (He's never bought a stock, bond or mutual fund. He's never had to weigh risk against reward. He's never considered the tax implications of interest or dividends.)
Especially when you think that the Liberal pretext last December for launching a bloodless coup was a fiscal update that turned out to be accurate and fair - a fiscal update whose opponents distorted and manipulated for political gain without regard for the economic havoc that bullshit caused.
So, it appears hip, feet-on-the-ground Iggy likes to spend his time reading celebrity gossip and home remedies for cellulite.
I think that's just terrific. What this country needs is a leader who can mediate between Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston or who knows what Kate Moss looks like topless on a beach in Turkey. And it must be great to be Zuhzzhanna Ignatieff with that endless stream of tips to get rid of the ulgy jelly collecting on her legs.
But here's the thing. Wouldn't it be even more terrific if we were told that in his spare time Michael Ignatieff is reading the Wall Street Journal and taking a seminar on investing. This is not to knock his command of Hollywood happenings but a man as woefully ignorant of money should not be allowed to command the nation's largest purse... no? (He's never bought a stock, bond or mutual fund. He's never had to weigh risk against reward. He's never considered the tax implications of interest or dividends.)
Especially when you think that the Liberal pretext last December for launching a bloodless coup was a fiscal update that turned out to be accurate and fair - a fiscal update whose opponents distorted and manipulated for political gain without regard for the economic havoc that bullshit caused.
Labels: Liberals will regret dumping Dion
Friday, May 08, 2009
Hi, I'm a Liberal. Ergo, I am full of shit.
Thursday, May 07, 2009
Even Gilles Duceppe gets it right now and then
Granted, Gilles Duceppe is loopy and his open attack on Michael Ignatieff ("the new liberal illusion") is classic separatist-talk. By that, I mean it has that wooden style one would associate with soviet propaganda. (Do serious federal leaders use exclamation marks in their political writings? According to Gilles, the answer is "Da!")
Still, Mr. Duceppe did pull out a rather illuminating quote from Mr. True Patriot Love. In 1995, the subtle and serious thinker said Quebec would inevitably transform into a tyranny of an ethnic majority unless Canada kept it in check. Remember, this comes during a time when wholesale slaughter was on tap in the Balkans - so Mr. Iggy was not kidding around when he used that kind of language.
In 2006, Mr. Iggy said much the same thing when he speculated that civil war was a possible outcome of the Quebec question.
My point? Very simple: the preening dolt hasn't a clue about Quebec. To pretend its just an American version of Bosnia is rather insulting to Quebec and Bosnia. It reveals Iggy as a simple-minded thinker happy to disregard reality when it interferes with the narrative of his latest opus. And, it disqualifies him from heading up Canadian government. As he has said, the PMs first order of business is national unity. You can't unite people when you not-so-secretely think half of them are rabid dogs itching to lay waste to anglo Quebec.
Still, Mr. Duceppe did pull out a rather illuminating quote from Mr. True Patriot Love. In 1995, the subtle and serious thinker said Quebec would inevitably transform into a tyranny of an ethnic majority unless Canada kept it in check. Remember, this comes during a time when wholesale slaughter was on tap in the Balkans - so Mr. Iggy was not kidding around when he used that kind of language.
In 2006, Mr. Iggy said much the same thing when he speculated that civil war was a possible outcome of the Quebec question.
My point? Very simple: the preening dolt hasn't a clue about Quebec. To pretend its just an American version of Bosnia is rather insulting to Quebec and Bosnia. It reveals Iggy as a simple-minded thinker happy to disregard reality when it interferes with the narrative of his latest opus. And, it disqualifies him from heading up Canadian government. As he has said, the PMs first order of business is national unity. You can't unite people when you not-so-secretely think half of them are rabid dogs itching to lay waste to anglo Quebec.
Labels: Separatists are absurd not murderous
The following is my impression of a Liberal tackling Dhalla-Gate
North Americans are from Venus. Europeans are from Uranus.
Sometimes, from Venus, Uranus looks crowded with silly, frivolous people. Like when they declare seal hunting cruel and inhumane; when they go so far as to ban its trade. They do so munching EU beef which gets slaughtered much the same way as a seal, except that beef (or hogs, or chickens) never get to roam free, like seals, before they meet their maker. Or, as the great Rene Levesque pointed out, making a goose practically burst by force feeding in order to produce a truly wonderful foie gras is just about the cruellest thing humans do to animals for a fleeting, albeit sumptuous, experience.
So rock on Canadian parliament. Decking Canadian athletes in seal skin uniforms for the Vancouver Olympics is wicked awesome. Let is cause our wobbly European competitors to crumble at the sight of the inhumanity. Let them collapse in a pool of their own tears; let them wail and whine in their petroleum-based, planet killing uniforms.
Whenever Roots gets around to making the sealskin uniforms: I want one. I'm pretty damned sure it'll look dynamite with my mountain lion jacket and wolvering skin boots.
Sometimes, from Venus, Uranus looks crowded with silly, frivolous people. Like when they declare seal hunting cruel and inhumane; when they go so far as to ban its trade. They do so munching EU beef which gets slaughtered much the same way as a seal, except that beef (or hogs, or chickens) never get to roam free, like seals, before they meet their maker. Or, as the great Rene Levesque pointed out, making a goose practically burst by force feeding in order to produce a truly wonderful foie gras is just about the cruellest thing humans do to animals for a fleeting, albeit sumptuous, experience.
So rock on Canadian parliament. Decking Canadian athletes in seal skin uniforms for the Vancouver Olympics is wicked awesome. Let is cause our wobbly European competitors to crumble at the sight of the inhumanity. Let them collapse in a pool of their own tears; let them wail and whine in their petroleum-based, planet killing uniforms.
Whenever Roots gets around to making the sealskin uniforms: I want one. I'm pretty damned sure it'll look dynamite with my mountain lion jacket and wolvering skin boots.
Labels: Seal Skin Seats on Air Canada's transatlantic flights
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
The Passport Issue: Darker Dhalla and the Bloc Quebecois
I saw Dr. Phil do this just the other day:
I want to remind everyone that we are dealing with allegations and accusations; not facts and convictions. Whether or not these allegations stand the full light of investigation, no one is guilty of anything right now and the Liberal MP in question should continue in good standing.
Still, the story gives us a chance to talk about one of the world's ugliest moral blights: human trafficking. Witholding passports, as is alleged in this story, is chief weapon in human trafficking and enslavement, sexual or otherwise. It is a chilling detail that is hopefully just hyperbole from a petty, disgruntled former employee. But there are slaves in Canada right now with a master holding onto their passport as a means to hold on to them.
If any good comes of this sordid affair, it should be that these unproven accusations remind us that Tory MP Joy Smith is doing important work on setting minimum sentences for people convicted of child trafficking. This has broad support in parliament and today's events should speed its passage through 2nd reading. (Dear Gilles, le tete du ass, svp.)
I want to remind everyone that we are dealing with allegations and accusations; not facts and convictions. Whether or not these allegations stand the full light of investigation, no one is guilty of anything right now and the Liberal MP in question should continue in good standing.
Still, the story gives us a chance to talk about one of the world's ugliest moral blights: human trafficking. Witholding passports, as is alleged in this story, is chief weapon in human trafficking and enslavement, sexual or otherwise. It is a chilling detail that is hopefully just hyperbole from a petty, disgruntled former employee. But there are slaves in Canada right now with a master holding onto their passport as a means to hold on to them.
If any good comes of this sordid affair, it should be that these unproven accusations remind us that Tory MP Joy Smith is doing important work on setting minimum sentences for people convicted of child trafficking. This has broad support in parliament and today's events should speed its passage through 2nd reading. (Dear Gilles, le tete du ass, svp.)
Labels: Onto the Oliphant Inquiry
A tale of Two Rubies
Based on this.
Ruby as a Tory.... care of Don Martin (or Jim Traverse or Dan Tandt or or or)....
"While caution should be taken with mere allegations, the allegations are so serious that it boggles the mind how this MP can sit with the Conservative caucus. But even at the level of an accusation, the sordid story cements perceptions of Conservatives as miserly mysanthropes bullying the vulnerable for selfish gain. Yes, this is Stephen Harper's Ottawa no matter how many orphaned kittens Mrs. Harper takes in. Perhaps more sinister than this ugly abuse of caregivers, sources tell me that Ruby Dhalla is a creationist!"
Ruby as a Liberal.... care of Don Martin (or Jim Traverse or Dan Tandt or or or)....
"Opportunism stokes so many fires and this one is a classic tale of scheming caregivers looking to cash in on the rising fortunes of star politician, Ruby Dhalla. While the justice system will be required to investigate these spurious allegations, they will undoubtedly be thrown out and Ms. Dhalla's career restored onto its meteoric path. Still, a few surprises might fall out of such an investigation. Namely, the possibility that these uncaring caregivers were put up by a certain scheming Tory Minister looking to make inroads with immigrant communities by smashing the good work of Liberals like Ruby Dhalla."
Ruby as a Tory.... care of Don Martin (or Jim Traverse or Dan Tandt or or or)....
"While caution should be taken with mere allegations, the allegations are so serious that it boggles the mind how this MP can sit with the Conservative caucus. But even at the level of an accusation, the sordid story cements perceptions of Conservatives as miserly mysanthropes bullying the vulnerable for selfish gain. Yes, this is Stephen Harper's Ottawa no matter how many orphaned kittens Mrs. Harper takes in. Perhaps more sinister than this ugly abuse of caregivers, sources tell me that Ruby Dhalla is a creationist!"
Ruby as a Liberal.... care of Don Martin (or Jim Traverse or Dan Tandt or or or)....
"Opportunism stokes so many fires and this one is a classic tale of scheming caregivers looking to cash in on the rising fortunes of star politician, Ruby Dhalla. While the justice system will be required to investigate these spurious allegations, they will undoubtedly be thrown out and Ms. Dhalla's career restored onto its meteoric path. Still, a few surprises might fall out of such an investigation. Namely, the possibility that these uncaring caregivers were put up by a certain scheming Tory Minister looking to make inroads with immigrant communities by smashing the good work of Liberals like Ruby Dhalla."
Labels: Fun with perspectives
Monday, May 04, 2009
Okay, I can't help it: a second post on the Iggy Coronation
Kinsella is showing off the intro video to Michael Ignatieff's speech. Before getting too excited, Grits, remember: Paul Martin had Bono as an opening act. None of you will ever be able to top Paul Martin's Bono. So, with that in mind, enjoy the Michael Ignatieff video.
It starts out nicely, in classic Liberal style, a rainbow of Canadians talking about having fraternal love under a common purpose. Sweeter than cotton candy, it has the feel of a dairy board ad. In fact, I'm pretty sure those very same folks were in the studio shooting a dairy board ad and stuck around another 10 minutes to nail this Iggy footage too. Not less than half an hour ago, those people where professing the same deep and passionate love for the range of Quebec cheeses that they were dishing Iggy's way. I kid of course, but that's the feel.
Then, the video cuts to Michael Ignatieff snaps - bold, cheery pictures that say, "true enough, Dion was a nerd, I am a nerd; but Dion was four-eyed" - a run of photos showing Iggy in action, raising hell and having a gosh danged good time. Still in good Liberal tradition, though.
Until they have a section of Obama and Ignatieff pictures that runs for about 18 minutes (crude estimate based on feelings) ending with not a picture of Iggy and Obama playing chess or sharing a shisha pipe, rather a picture of Iggy giggling excitedly standing in the shadow of Air Force One. Over his shoulder, the plane boldly proclaims, "United States of America".
That is not normally something you see in a Liberal leadership video. You'd normally expect that kind of thing in a banana republic or farflungistan; where the local puppet regime trades on its relationship to the United States. Not Canada. Traditionally, in Canada, a potential leader must demonstrate his or her ability to negotiate with the United States to our benefit. Giggling in the presence of Air Force One does not inspire confidence that Iggy can lead those kinds of negotiations. Or else, one day we wake up to find out that we sold Ellesmere Island to the US for a billion dollars...canadian.
It starts out nicely, in classic Liberal style, a rainbow of Canadians talking about having fraternal love under a common purpose. Sweeter than cotton candy, it has the feel of a dairy board ad. In fact, I'm pretty sure those very same folks were in the studio shooting a dairy board ad and stuck around another 10 minutes to nail this Iggy footage too. Not less than half an hour ago, those people where professing the same deep and passionate love for the range of Quebec cheeses that they were dishing Iggy's way. I kid of course, but that's the feel.
Then, the video cuts to Michael Ignatieff snaps - bold, cheery pictures that say, "true enough, Dion was a nerd, I am a nerd; but Dion was four-eyed" - a run of photos showing Iggy in action, raising hell and having a gosh danged good time. Still in good Liberal tradition, though.
Until they have a section of Obama and Ignatieff pictures that runs for about 18 minutes (crude estimate based on feelings) ending with not a picture of Iggy and Obama playing chess or sharing a shisha pipe, rather a picture of Iggy giggling excitedly standing in the shadow of Air Force One. Over his shoulder, the plane boldly proclaims, "United States of America".
That is not normally something you see in a Liberal leadership video. You'd normally expect that kind of thing in a banana republic or farflungistan; where the local puppet regime trades on its relationship to the United States. Not Canada. Traditionally, in Canada, a potential leader must demonstrate his or her ability to negotiate with the United States to our benefit. Giggling in the presence of Air Force One does not inspire confidence that Iggy can lead those kinds of negotiations. Or else, one day we wake up to find out that we sold Ellesmere Island to the US for a billion dollars...canadian.
Labels: No election in 2009
The Common Purposes Cult
Hey, I know its the kind of thing I rant about frequently, but it is terribly creepy of Michael Ignatieff - in true Liberal style - to promise the imposition of a "common purpose" on Canadians.
I don't want a common purpose.
I don't want my life defined by some government edict.
I want the freedom and opportunity to fashion my own purpose, my own lifestyle and ambitions.
I don't want my money taken from me to fund something that gives Ken Dryden a warm fuzzy.
If you really feel that your life is missing definition then might I suggest you go to Church (or temple, mosque, oak grove, suspected alien landing site, etc.) Voting Liberal juuuuussssssst won't fly.
Although, I have to admit, there's something cult-like about the Liberal party. Kind of like a made-in-Canada Scientology. Reading the Liberal blogs - even the soon-to-be Tory Calgary Grit - and you'd think they are debating the miracle of transubstantiation. Then there are the battles for silly positions like VP Ontario - Policy. Only a toady-hack could aspire to a fake job that pays nothing because it accomplishes nothing. None of it means anything in this life, but perhaps being VP Ontario - Policy has its benefits afterwards?
I don't want a common purpose.
I don't want my life defined by some government edict.
I want the freedom and opportunity to fashion my own purpose, my own lifestyle and ambitions.
I don't want my money taken from me to fund something that gives Ken Dryden a warm fuzzy.
If you really feel that your life is missing definition then might I suggest you go to Church (or temple, mosque, oak grove, suspected alien landing site, etc.) Voting Liberal juuuuussssssst won't fly.
Although, I have to admit, there's something cult-like about the Liberal party. Kind of like a made-in-Canada Scientology. Reading the Liberal blogs - even the soon-to-be Tory Calgary Grit - and you'd think they are debating the miracle of transubstantiation. Then there are the battles for silly positions like VP Ontario - Policy. Only a toady-hack could aspire to a fake job that pays nothing because it accomplishes nothing. None of it means anything in this life, but perhaps being VP Ontario - Policy has its benefits afterwards?
Labels: There is my one Iggy Coronation post
Sunday, May 03, 2009
Judicial Facism in an Independent Quebec
A recent post, Child Rape in an Independent Quebec, stirred up the ire of some separatists.
These separatists argued that the Bloc Quebecois was against minimum sentencing on human trafficking crimes because they were against minimum sentences generally. They were against minimum sentences because judges were experts and laymen legislators should not interfere with the execution of that expertise. Judges, therefore, should have total discretion on sentencing for any crime.
The separatists proved immune to arguments that judges, despite their techinical excellence, were not immune to their own personal biases nor that judges could, if felled by mental illness or financial difficulty, become prey to the influence of very bad people. Judges, according to separatists, are an uber-human species impervious to subjective experience or personal weakness.
The whole thing leaves me creeped out, Freddy Kruger style. What Quebec separatists have implied in defending the BQ's decision to support leniency with regards to sex slavers is that in an independent Quebec, the legislature will be the weakest arm of government.
In an independent Quebec, the legislature will bow to the judiciary. Even if the legislature writes the laws. Maybe, in an independent Quebec, the legislature does not write the laws. Maybe the judiciary will take care of that. Maybe the legislature just says "okay." Quebeckers should think very hard about supporting a political movement which subjugates the legislature in favor of more technocratic arms of government.
In a democracy, the legislature rules. When the Bloc Quebecois makes foremost the principle that judges trump legislators without exception, they signal very clearly that the legislature does not rule. Call it sovereignty-association or whatever, it ain't democracy. That's for sure.
These separatists argued that the Bloc Quebecois was against minimum sentencing on human trafficking crimes because they were against minimum sentences generally. They were against minimum sentences because judges were experts and laymen legislators should not interfere with the execution of that expertise. Judges, therefore, should have total discretion on sentencing for any crime.
The separatists proved immune to arguments that judges, despite their techinical excellence, were not immune to their own personal biases nor that judges could, if felled by mental illness or financial difficulty, become prey to the influence of very bad people. Judges, according to separatists, are an uber-human species impervious to subjective experience or personal weakness.
The whole thing leaves me creeped out, Freddy Kruger style. What Quebec separatists have implied in defending the BQ's decision to support leniency with regards to sex slavers is that in an independent Quebec, the legislature will be the weakest arm of government.
In an independent Quebec, the legislature will bow to the judiciary. Even if the legislature writes the laws. Maybe, in an independent Quebec, the legislature does not write the laws. Maybe the judiciary will take care of that. Maybe the legislature just says "okay." Quebeckers should think very hard about supporting a political movement which subjugates the legislature in favor of more technocratic arms of government.
In a democracy, the legislature rules. When the Bloc Quebecois makes foremost the principle that judges trump legislators without exception, they signal very clearly that the legislature does not rule. Call it sovereignty-association or whatever, it ain't democracy. That's for sure.
Labels: Technocrats are facist
Saturday, May 02, 2009
Wrestling the Wrestler
For some reason, the last review of The Wrestler I glanced at was negative. And the cover at the video store scared me because on it the headline critic called it "heartfelt". Heartfelt? Not usually a word that encapsulates something fun for a Saturday night.
The Wrestler is a bummer. A classic tragedy, intercepted by defeat only steps away from the victory zone, ending perfectly with the hero's death. While it may have a noble heritage, its still a bummer. Sure, there a great bits of comedey in the movie - but it doesn't fit into a Saturday Night like, say, FIsh Called Wanda would.
But the movie breaks Chuckercanuck's bummers and bums law of film making which states:
Automatically, a movie sucks if it:
a) causes bummers in the audience or weakens their will to live
b) displays many middle-aged bums when it doesn't have to
However, Marissa Tomei? Talk about comebacks!
The Wrestler is a bummer. A classic tragedy, intercepted by defeat only steps away from the victory zone, ending perfectly with the hero's death. While it may have a noble heritage, its still a bummer. Sure, there a great bits of comedey in the movie - but it doesn't fit into a Saturday Night like, say, FIsh Called Wanda would.
But the movie breaks Chuckercanuck's bummers and bums law of film making which states:
Automatically, a movie sucks if it:
a) causes bummers in the audience or weakens their will to live
b) displays many middle-aged bums when it doesn't have to
However, Marissa Tomei? Talk about comebacks!
Labels: I am blushing just writing her name
Friday, May 01, 2009
Blog Maintenance Alert
I pledge to do better maintenance on my sidebar and tonight I'll draw your attention to two additions and one category swap.
Addition 1. Eric the Separatist.
A separatist political junkie, nerdy enough to run a blog. In english. Since that's a treat for any Canadian political junkie to have access to, he's up under arch nemesis. Read him, tease him and frustrate his every ambition!
Addition 2. Ann Althouse.
Famous blogging law professor in the states. Since I read her daily, its convenient for me to have her on the sidebar. For you, if you want a brainy, right-leaning newsie, she's it.
Category Swap 1. RGM Unlimited
This lapsed Martinite has stumbled into the needy arms of the ingenue Ignatieff. To be a fellow traveller, you must be a Harpermaniac and think Stephen Harper is wicked cool. You could never be a Liberal because you don't want their paternalistic interference in your life, pushing you into their lineups and programs. Its just unthinkable. So, RGM Unlimited is now an arch enemy. I urge you to follow his path to another Martin-like humiliation.
Addition 1. Eric the Separatist.
A separatist political junkie, nerdy enough to run a blog. In english. Since that's a treat for any Canadian political junkie to have access to, he's up under arch nemesis. Read him, tease him and frustrate his every ambition!
Addition 2. Ann Althouse.
Famous blogging law professor in the states. Since I read her daily, its convenient for me to have her on the sidebar. For you, if you want a brainy, right-leaning newsie, she's it.
Category Swap 1. RGM Unlimited
This lapsed Martinite has stumbled into the needy arms of the ingenue Ignatieff. To be a fellow traveller, you must be a Harpermaniac and think Stephen Harper is wicked cool. You could never be a Liberal because you don't want their paternalistic interference in your life, pushing you into their lineups and programs. Its just unthinkable. So, RGM Unlimited is now an arch enemy. I urge you to follow his path to another Martin-like humiliation.
Labels: Would like to put a part-time Kiwis blog up too
Chretien Tickles Me Still
Ha!
Why would Chretien recommend an early election?
Because the Liberals only real chance is to call an election now in the middle of the storm while their leader has a sort of honeymoon. Both factors will turn against Liberals as time marches onward:
1. We will recover. And, we will recover faster than everyone else. Stephen Harper will get credit for the recovery and he will be one of the rare PMs to win an election after having flown Canada through turbulent weather.
2. The honeymoon will end. There will be no sustained Iggy-mania. Iggy's big problem is, unfortunately, essential to him: he's a vain creep. Eventually, Canadians will realize that with Iggy, they are like Jack Nicholson in The Shining: kissing not a gorgeous babe stepping out of a bath tub, but a horrifying rotting corpse.
Chretien knows this. Moreover, Chretien knows an early election is all but impossible. So he recommends an impossible course of action in order to look like he's offering some advice for what is, ultimately, a hopeless cause.
As Kinsella says, Chretien knows a thing or two about winning elections.
Why would Chretien recommend an early election?
Because the Liberals only real chance is to call an election now in the middle of the storm while their leader has a sort of honeymoon. Both factors will turn against Liberals as time marches onward:
1. We will recover. And, we will recover faster than everyone else. Stephen Harper will get credit for the recovery and he will be one of the rare PMs to win an election after having flown Canada through turbulent weather.
2. The honeymoon will end. There will be no sustained Iggy-mania. Iggy's big problem is, unfortunately, essential to him: he's a vain creep. Eventually, Canadians will realize that with Iggy, they are like Jack Nicholson in The Shining: kissing not a gorgeous babe stepping out of a bath tub, but a horrifying rotting corpse.
Chretien knows this. Moreover, Chretien knows an early election is all but impossible. So he recommends an impossible course of action in order to look like he's offering some advice for what is, ultimately, a hopeless cause.
As Kinsella says, Chretien knows a thing or two about winning elections.
Labels: That dastardly Chretien
