Thursday, April 26, 2007
Ontario: Gaylord Capital of the Universe
Does the province of Ontario ever realize that in its quest for world status, its easiest route would be to focus on its dweebocity? No one, not even Belgium, competes with Ontario on that front. Witness the latest publicity campaign launched by Ontario's Ministry of Environment. In an effort to grab teenagers and raise their awareness of energy consumption, the ministry has launched its: Flick Off campaign. (As in flick off the light switch.)
Flick Off. But here's the hip and edgy twist: on the logo, the L and the I are squeezed so tightly together, they look like a U. So its not flick off, its fuck off. Then, the radical cool icing to this campaign is Ontario has enlisted not some genius local talent like K-OS, no, they've reached out to billionaire geezer Peter Pan-wannabe, Sir Richard Branson.
How do you get the kids these days to care about energy consumption? Fuck Off! Swear words are guaranteed to work. Kids will say, "hey, the ministry of environment is hip and edgy. Switching off the lights is a wicked cool thing to do."
At my house, I have a more traditional, yet equally edgy way of getting my kids to shut the lights off. I scream: "Hey Rainbow and SkyPiper, I pay the damned electricity bill in this damned house and if you don't want us bankrupt and living in the sewers, don't make me piss poor by wasting my money on damned empty rooms!" Seems to work.
Anyway, I'm a little jealous because Ontario's Ministry of the Environment stole my thunder for a couple of hip and edgy campaigns I plan to launch.
ClOCK
I have enlisted MC Hammer to help me raise awareness among teenagers about how hip and edgy daylight savings time is.
GASSHOLE
The boys from Twisted Sister have been reunited to help me sell how hip and edgy carbon sequestration is.
Oh well, back to the drawing boards.
Flick Off. But here's the hip and edgy twist: on the logo, the L and the I are squeezed so tightly together, they look like a U. So its not flick off, its fuck off. Then, the radical cool icing to this campaign is Ontario has enlisted not some genius local talent like K-OS, no, they've reached out to billionaire geezer Peter Pan-wannabe, Sir Richard Branson.
How do you get the kids these days to care about energy consumption? Fuck Off! Swear words are guaranteed to work. Kids will say, "hey, the ministry of environment is hip and edgy. Switching off the lights is a wicked cool thing to do."
At my house, I have a more traditional, yet equally edgy way of getting my kids to shut the lights off. I scream: "Hey Rainbow and SkyPiper, I pay the damned electricity bill in this damned house and if you don't want us bankrupt and living in the sewers, don't make me piss poor by wasting my money on damned empty rooms!" Seems to work.
Anyway, I'm a little jealous because Ontario's Ministry of the Environment stole my thunder for a couple of hip and edgy campaigns I plan to launch.
ClOCK
I have enlisted MC Hammer to help me raise awareness among teenagers about how hip and edgy daylight savings time is.
GASSHOLE
The boys from Twisted Sister have been reunited to help me sell how hip and edgy carbon sequestration is.
Oh well, back to the drawing boards.
Labels: Margaret Atwood is from Ontario - right?
Comments:
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I thought bad words were bad for a reason. Didn't some radio guy in the States get fired for saying a bad word? But my government is now encouraging children to say bad words because the government is doing it in a clever manner. What a bunch of gassholes.
LOL!!! You should hear talk radio going bananas over this right now. The irony is that "flick off" ain't much better either...just look at the definition in the urban dictionary.
Personally, I like Gasshole...but that's just me.
In my mind, the idea itself is stupid, but the stupider thing is the moral majority taking to the airwaves today. "Your telling my kids to fuck off? How dare you!"
Relax, I say. Their rage would be better spent on the insane idea behind the ad, not the actual message.
In my mind, the idea itself is stupid, but the stupider thing is the moral majority taking to the airwaves today. "Your telling my kids to fuck off? How dare you!"
Relax, I say. Their rage would be better spent on the insane idea behind the ad, not the actual message.
You don't have to read far into Roberts' volume to appreciate why it resonates with this particular Commander-in-Chief. On page six, we find another head of government of a global superpower, the third Marquess of Salisbury. Speaking at the dawn of the 20th century, Britain's Prime Minister remarks:
England is, I believe, the only country in which, during a great war, eminent men write and speak as if they belonged to the enemy.
Indeed. And, as Roberts adds, "In fact, the phenomenon was to recur throughout the English-speaking peoples over the coming decades, and in some engagements - such as at Suez and in Vietnam - opposition from a vociferous domestic minority was to doom their enterprises far more than foreign opponents."
England is, I believe, the only country in which, during a great war, eminent men write and speak as if they belonged to the enemy.
Indeed. And, as Roberts adds, "In fact, the phenomenon was to recur throughout the English-speaking peoples over the coming decades, and in some engagements - such as at Suez and in Vietnam - opposition from a vociferous domestic minority was to doom their enterprises far more than foreign opponents."
# posted by 
: Thursday, April 26, 2007 11:42:00 AM
: Thursday, April 26, 2007 11:42:00 AM
They had a segment on this stupid campaign yesterday on MuchMusic that I had the non-pleasure of flipping to half-way through. It consisted of a bunch of teenagers telling the nation who they want to "FLICK OFF." Not surprisingly, GWB was mentioned, as were some relatives and ex-boyfriends.
It's a joke, really, and it's got about as much of an overall effect on things as a PETA stunt that herds a group of naked women into a window display. People are too busy being hip and getting away with dropping a pseudo-F-Bomb to actually pay attention to the message.
It's a joke, really, and it's got about as much of an overall effect on things as a PETA stunt that herds a group of naked women into a window display. People are too busy being hip and getting away with dropping a pseudo-F-Bomb to actually pay attention to the message.
No one can beat the stuffed dancing dinosaurs during the opening ceremonies of the Calgary Olympics for dweebocity. In fact, the province of Alberta wins the dweeb olympics every year with that hick-fest know as the Stampede.
...So, flick off, eh?
...So, flick off, eh?
# posted by : Thursday, April 26, 2007 12:03:00 PM
: Thursday, April 26, 2007 12:03:00 PM
Branson doesn't like 20% less C02 by 2020.
Well, Flick-off yourself.
Well, Flick-off yourself.
# posted by : Thursday, April 26, 2007 12:08:00 PM
: Thursday, April 26, 2007 12:08:00 PM
Hey!
The stampede is a relevant celebration of our history and our culture. It is my raison d'etre, and a primary reason for why I still work for my company. (Usually get free infield tickets to the chucks.)
And it has country music, beer, whiskey, boots, hats, and hot beer tub girls. What could be better?
Crap. I just proved anonymous's point.
Carry on.
The stampede is a relevant celebration of our history and our culture. It is my raison d'etre, and a primary reason for why I still work for my company. (Usually get free infield tickets to the chucks.)
And it has country music, beer, whiskey, boots, hats, and hot beer tub girls. What could be better?
Crap. I just proved anonymous's point.
Carry on.
tell us more about the hot beer tub girls.
don't you normally drink your beer cold?
don't you normally drink your beer cold?
# posted by : Thursday, April 26, 2007 12:14:00 PM
: Thursday, April 26, 2007 12:14:00 PM
Personally, I think you're giving Ontario short SHrIfT.
# posted by : Thursday, April 26, 2007 12:23:00 PM
: Thursday, April 26, 2007 12:23:00 PM
We drink so much beer that if you show up after about 11:00 AM, all the cold stuff is gone, and you have to start drinking the stuff that is stacked outside.
You can always tell the quality of the party/bar by the "quality" of the beer tub girls. If you go to Ranchman's or Cowboys's, you'll want to stick around for a while.
If it's Edna from payroll, you might want to find another party. Of course, at 3:00AM, Edna might start looking good, depending on whether or not the beer she was giving out was free.
You can always tell the quality of the party/bar by the "quality" of the beer tub girls. If you go to Ranchman's or Cowboys's, you'll want to stick around for a while.
If it's Edna from payroll, you might want to find another party. Of course, at 3:00AM, Edna might start looking good, depending on whether or not the beer she was giving out was free.
This is fun! You simply pARSE out the upper and lower case letters. It really requires a cunning linguist.
# posted by : Thursday, April 26, 2007 12:28:00 PM
: Thursday, April 26, 2007 12:28:00 PM
LMFAO, Chuckercanuck. OMG! Gov. campaigns should shoot for clever, at best. Teen cool? Impossible by definition. But, let me add to your list:
pl ASS tic bags
C arp OOL
com PO s T
What else? What else?
L8R
pl ASS tic bags
C arp OOL
com PO s T
What else? What else?
L8R
# posted by : Thursday, April 26, 2007 12:41:00 PM
: Thursday, April 26, 2007 12:41:00 PM
Red Tory said...
"Chucker — Funny stuff. Check out my place for an interesting twist on this "FLICK OFF" campaign. "
I think that Chucker is trying to re-establish himself as a Red Tory, and a True Blue follower of Sir John A.'s party.
That is not easy when you look at how many gassholes surround him in Calgary.
But then again, most of these gassholes are "dusters".
Gassholes give Harper asthma.
"Chucker — Funny stuff. Check out my place for an interesting twist on this "FLICK OFF" campaign. "
I think that Chucker is trying to re-establish himself as a Red Tory, and a True Blue follower of Sir John A.'s party.
That is not easy when you look at how many gassholes surround him in Calgary.
But then again, most of these gassholes are "dusters".
Gassholes give Harper asthma.
According to Joey G, gassholes give Harper asthma, Joey G. makes me laugh uncontrollably followed by a severe migraine.
# posted by : Thursday, April 26, 2007 2:13:00 PM
: Thursday, April 26, 2007 2:13:00 PM
Joey G is too concerned with Chuckercanuck's gasshole. Careful Joey, you might get burnt by the hot venting!
# posted by : Thursday, April 26, 2007 2:37:00 PM
: Thursday, April 26, 2007 2:37:00 PM
Hey, everybody, quit fucking around with the lettering!
What would Mr. WEB ster say?
What would Mr. WEB ster say?
# posted by : Thursday, April 26, 2007 4:30:00 PM
: Thursday, April 26, 2007 4:30:00 PM
Anonymous said...
"No one can beat the stuffed dancing dinosaurs during the opening ceremonies of the Calgary Olympics for dweebocity. In fact, the province of Alberta wins the dweeb olympics every year with that hick-fest know as the Stampede.
...So, flick off, eh? "
I was born and raised in Alberta, and I most certainly have to agree with you about Calgary as being "dweebocity". This place has produced such crazies as Ernie Manning, and his son Presto, thumping Bible Bill Aberhart the Censor; all came originally from Calgary, as does Ralph Klein. Ted Morton is part of the problem, he is really an Amerikan Republikan who Stephen Harper is going to appoint to the Canadian Senate. Of course, Harper comes from Calgary, as does that other lunatic of the extreme right, mouthpiece Jason Kenney. Stockwell Day when he is not falsely accusing people of doing something they are not, also hails from Cowtown.
But for the benefit of the readers who read Chucker's harrangues, its important to understand that this insanity is not widespread in Alberta. Alberta is a proud and hard working Canadian Province, and its people reflect a large political diversity of opinion, unlike Calgary Fifth Columnists.
The real problem is that Calgary does not have very many REAL Canadians left there, it has been taken over by Oil Can Yankees and their ideas of "green zones" and "security walls". Naturally when their political elites asked the rest of Alberta to pay for their insane policies, we all told them to fuck off, and then installed someone as Premier from the North East rural area of Alberta.
It was a joy to behold as everyone from NDP labour unions to Liberal fund raisers all joined forces to run the "neocons" out of the Legislature.
Bye Bye Ms. Amerikan Pie.
"No one can beat the stuffed dancing dinosaurs during the opening ceremonies of the Calgary Olympics for dweebocity. In fact, the province of Alberta wins the dweeb olympics every year with that hick-fest know as the Stampede.
...So, flick off, eh? "
I was born and raised in Alberta, and I most certainly have to agree with you about Calgary as being "dweebocity". This place has produced such crazies as Ernie Manning, and his son Presto, thumping Bible Bill Aberhart the Censor; all came originally from Calgary, as does Ralph Klein. Ted Morton is part of the problem, he is really an Amerikan Republikan who Stephen Harper is going to appoint to the Canadian Senate. Of course, Harper comes from Calgary, as does that other lunatic of the extreme right, mouthpiece Jason Kenney. Stockwell Day when he is not falsely accusing people of doing something they are not, also hails from Cowtown.
But for the benefit of the readers who read Chucker's harrangues, its important to understand that this insanity is not widespread in Alberta. Alberta is a proud and hard working Canadian Province, and its people reflect a large political diversity of opinion, unlike Calgary Fifth Columnists.
The real problem is that Calgary does not have very many REAL Canadians left there, it has been taken over by Oil Can Yankees and their ideas of "green zones" and "security walls". Naturally when their political elites asked the rest of Alberta to pay for their insane policies, we all told them to fuck off, and then installed someone as Premier from the North East rural area of Alberta.
It was a joy to behold as everyone from NDP labour unions to Liberal fund raisers all joined forces to run the "neocons" out of the Legislature.
Bye Bye Ms. Amerikan Pie.
Sad - very sad. Campaigns aimed at teens never work. Hello, sadsack bureaucrats - you are not cool, neither are you hip, nor are you sick. You just suck. Please, stop embarrassing yourselves.
Idiot (JG?).
Morton supporters voted mostly for Stelmach with their 2nd choice ballot preferences.
Diamond Jim's friends from the NDP and Libs weren't able to save him.
Morton supporters voted mostly for Stelmach with their 2nd choice ballot preferences.
Diamond Jim's friends from the NDP and Libs weren't able to save him.
# posted by : Thursday, April 26, 2007 6:48:00 PM
: Thursday, April 26, 2007 6:48:00 PM
So much for Dion's cap and trade disaster.
Why the hell should a company OWN a percentage of Canada's CO2 output in perpetuity and be allowed to sell it to new entrants trying to take their market share?
Al Gore millionaires living high on a C02 quota can FlICK off.
Why the hell should a company OWN a percentage of Canada's CO2 output in perpetuity and be allowed to sell it to new entrants trying to take their market share?
Al Gore millionaires living high on a C02 quota can FlICK off.
# posted by : Thursday, April 26, 2007 7:03:00 PM
: Thursday, April 26, 2007 7:03:00 PM
TO clarify an earlier debate on this thread, I have published the official dweeb rankings of the province.
YYC,
I'm saving the environment for tomorrow morning. But you know I love off-topics since it inspires and provokes.
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YYC,
I'm saving the environment for tomorrow morning. But you know I love off-topics since it inspires and provokes.
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